


The Letter

by Deebubble8



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Chapter 7 has a trigger warning for attempted Suicide, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27374218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deebubble8/pseuds/Deebubble8
Summary: 10 Months after the current story line and our girls are not together. And 14 months since Vanessa has been in Emmerdale Village.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 38
Kudos: 101





	1. Coming home

THE LETTER

Its been over 14 months since Vanessa had been in Emmerdale. She never planned to be away from it for so long, but life had taken a turn she had never seen coming in a million years. It used to be home where everyone she really loved was. She can’t think about that right now as her head is full of the letter that arrived a week ago. She doesn’t know what had made Charity write it or what she was supposed to do after reading it, but she can’t get it out of her head. She is so looking forward to seeing Rhona as she hadn’t been able to visit much. Tracey has been many times with the gorgeous Maddie and quite a few occasions bringing Noah and Moses with her for the day. She made sure she didn’t punish the boys for what happened, and Johnny loved seeing them and missed the village a lot. If she is honest, she still feels like a part of her is missing. Johnny asks all the time why he doesn’t see Charity anymore. She has never really known what to tell him and settled on simply saying that Charity and Mummy weren’t together anymore. This didn’t satisfy him as the boys come to see him. She had no answer that would make sense to him.

Part of her knew she was punishing Charity by never allowing Johnny to go to Charity’s . Not that she had ever been asked except by Johnny. Moses had asked early on but had given up not long after, simply happy to visit regularly.

Her mind was wondering instead of allowing herself to think why she was in a hire car going back. She never thought she would. She still had a share of the vets and took a small income from it, and had a part time vet job in a local town. Living with her Mum was not ideal, it had been convenient and help with childcare was helpful. She had no illusions her Mum was lonely and happy to have them. She didn’t really go over the top with her relationship with either of them, Warm was something she didn’t really do. While Vanessa tried to work out where she was going in the future and what that would look like, this was an easy option. The problem was she had no idea at all what she wanted. The past 10 months or so felt unreal the pain and worry of cancer, feeling total elation getting the all clear only for Paddy to send her a picture of her fiancée kissing some random guy. The heartbreak, The crying night after night. The sick feeling and the loss. Vanessa had no way of knowing when that would stop because it hasn’t yet.

So why was she in the car driving towards where it all happened. The letter that’s why. It had arrived out of the blue. She knew her writing as soon as she picked it up of the door mat. Her hands shaking she turns the letter over and over in her hands. Charity had stuck to what Vanessa had asked, Except the night after she told Charity she knew. She told her that night she never wanted to see her again and ignored everything Charity said, well shouted. No calls or texts and visits after that. Never occurred to Vanessa to say no letters or that Charity would ever write one. She didn’t know if she could handle reading it, maybe its to tell her Charity was getting married or that she couldn’t see the boys anymore. Feeling nervous she slowly opens it and takes out the 3-page letter and starts to read.

Ness

I don’t know if you will read this and I don’t blame you if you don’t. The past 10 months have been the hardest of my life. For more than one reason. The main one is obviously because I lost you and Johnny. The other is I never had an opportunity to say anything I needed to say. I do know that was my fault and not yours. If im honest I probably wasn’t ready to do this before now.

I am so very sorry for all the pain I have caused you and Johnny.

You are the love of my life and that will never change, I love you as much now as the day we should have got married. I need to say, this letter comes with no expectations as I have accepted that it is over and you will of by now hopefully have found some peace and happiness. I just want to try and tell you where I was emotionally when I ruined us.

The months you were at your mothers were difficult for me as I felt distanced from you emotionally and physically. I know it was harder for you and the treatment. All I want to do in this letter is not to make excuses but just to give you some context to my appalling actions.

At first when you were at your mothers, we were talking all the time and I was ok. Missing you like crazy and worried sick, but ok. When your mother fell and it turned out you were going to be there a lot longer we started to talk less. I do understand you had your hands full so not a criticism. But I started to feel less and less like a couple, and I missed you so much. I couldn’t say this because I know it was selfish and I know im always called that and I was trying so hard not to be. So as always, I bottled it up. I had the feeling there was a lot you weren’t saying to me either and I felt an emotional distance start. By the time it got to our 3 yr anniversary I was convinced you had stopped loving me, you were avoiding my calls and my brain was in overdrive. I still said nothing. It was fantastic to see you for dinner that evening and I really did feel like I was over reacting. You looked so beautiful that night. There is so much I should have said and I would have if only I had known it would be one of the last happy calls we had together.

I wasted so much time worrying about how you felt about me I spoiled everything. To the fateful day, The one I wish more than anything in my life I could do over. One thing I have learnt is that as I was convinced that I would do something to mess us up, I did.

You were not answering my calls and my paranoia was through the roof by now. I don’t know if Tracey told you that we had a row because I was convinced you had someone else. I was hurt and alone and not thinking properly. This is not an excuse. I sat in my car crying when you didn’t come back home after the adoption hearing. Then that idiot McKenzie drove into me as I pulled out of the layby. Not that I had any idea who he was then. What followed was a bit of banter and he started being flirty and then I joined in feeling we were over and empty and my shameful reaction to a ridiculous situation that escalated and ended in one ill advised kiss.

I removed myself from the situation within minutes of this although he had ( who I now know was Cain ) someone in his boot and I got out of there. I felt sick and ashamed.

When you phoned with the best news in the world I should have told you but I was so ashamed and wanted to tell you when you came home So at the very least I could try to tell you the whole thing.. When you phoned again and had seen the picture from Paddy I was so focused on getting you home so I could tell you properly that I just behaved like an idiot saying it was just fun. It certainly wasn’t fun at all.

That was all there was to it except I then went on to try to get him to tell you the truth and as you know Tracey heard. So by the end of all that you were both convinced it was an affair. Especially as he thought it funny to say it was to Tracey. I never did and would never have had an affair and I just needed you to know that.

I cant blame you, my go to behaviours are destructive. I managed to destroy the only thing I ever wanted or loved. I have never and will never love anyone the way I love you. I love and miss Johnny everyday as I do you. But I have always understood and kept to the arrangements you have made. I am so grateful that you still love my boys and stay in touch with Sarah, Debbie, Ryan and Jack too. It means the world to me that I didn’t ruin this for them.

Words are useless to describe how I feel about all this and would do anything not to have hurt you. I understand a lot more about myself these days. Of course too little too late. You deserve the world.

Thank you’s are not enough to tell you what you bought to my life for 3 yrs. You changed me forever and for that reason I can never regret what we had.

I leave you with all my love always and hope you find the happiness I wish for you. I will never forget our love and our too brief time together. For me it was everything.

Always your

Charity x

Vanessa could practically recite the letter of by heart she had read it so many times. When she first saw the handwriting, she thought it might be a begging letter. To see her or Johnny maybe. But an apology and some form of acceptance and understanding she had not expected. Her emotions are all over the place. She was still crying at night and missing the life she had. Although she was still angry at Charity she knew as the anger was growing less the love and longing were resurfacing. That’s why she phoned Rhona and asked to come and stay for a couple of nights. Vanessa is well aware of her mothers disapproval as she was not backward at coming forward. Her mother had not been happy about it all along , but with Vanessa being so happy her mother felt she had no choice . Now of course there were lots of I told you so’s .

Vanessa drives past Hotton and sees the village ahead. She pulls over and takes a sharp breath. What is she doing. She has no idea what the next few days will hold…………

To be continued

THE LETTER


	2. The Letter

Chapter 2 

Rhona opens the door and pulls Vanessa into a big hug.Its so good to see you Ness, I have missed you so much. Vanesa smiles and says so how come you haven’t been to visit much ? Rhona looks a little awkward and replies you know it isn’t easy with Leo. Vanessa looks away and spies the wine on the kitchen table. They sit down and Rhona asks her why have you decided you wanted to come for a visit now ? Vanessa hesitates and then says im really not sure but I felt I should after receiving a letter from Charity.   
What did the letter say ? , Rhona asks while pouring a glass of white wine for Vanessa. Do you want to see her ?. Vanessa thinks about how to say any of what she is thinking and feeling right now as it is still all so jumbled in her mind.  
I have never asked you or Tracy how Charity has been doing, Tracy told me at the beginning she was getting drunk and caused a scene when you both bought Johnny to me, I was so angry with her back then I didn’t want to know after that. I think maybe I should ask you now how you think she is and do you see much of her ? There really isn’t any point asking Tracy because I just think it would be negative.  
Rhona looks thoughtful and unsure, takes a mouthful of wine and looks at Vanessa. I see a little bit of her, Before all this happened I was keeping an eye on her while you were away because it was obvious she was struggling with you being away from her and still sick. She didn’t look like she was sleeping too well and although she was doing really well with the kids and home she had no real outlet as the Woolie was shut during lockdown and then only open for a few after. Vanessa looks shocked, how much time had she spent with Charity  
Rhona looks straight at Vanessa, not loads but we have become friends, not close but to be honest she needed someone to talk to you know how useless her family are and they were just telling her what a screw up she was Noah and Sarah having a go too. I couldn’t help feeling a bit sorry for her. Don’t misunderstand I don’t mean what she did wasn’t awful but in the aftermath she was falling apart. And I had come to like and respect her while you were together and I learnt all she had actually been through. Please believe me Ness this wasn’t against you. In fairness Charity has never said a word against you to me or anyone as far as I know. Vanessa really didn’t know what to say in response. This wasn’t helping her confused mind right now. She decided she needed to ask Rhona more about Charity. Something was niggling in her head and it wouldn’t stop. How is Charity doing now 10 months after we broke up ?   
She is doing much better in a lot of ways. And she really has picked herself up, But she is not the same old Charity these days. Not as gobby or as loud and not as snarky. Still good for a banter but something is definitely missing.  
Vanessa takes another sip of wine and almost holds her breath, Is Charity with anyone ? Rhona smiles knowingly. Charity hasn’t seen anyone since you left except once when she was drunk immediately after you left and that was just a drunken pass that went nowhere. If you want to see her she is behind the bar every evening so she can be home during the day with the kids and feed them, Usually Noah and or Sarah baby sits and Chas gets to spend her evenings with Eve and Paddy. With a smile Rhona adds, She hasn’t ducked out of a shift in 10 months and Vanessa smiles too.   
Vanessa looks at Rhona and says I have been thinking about what I thought had happened and what Tracy was suggesting had happened and what Charity said and as she lied to me often I haven’t believed her. Then in her letter she has laid out the events of that day and said some stuff that I hadn’t realised before. Im just really confused.   
Well tell me what she said in the letter. Vanessa passes the letter to Rhona from her hand bag. Rhona is surprised, I don’t think I should read it  
No I want you to, I know it is personal but there isn’t anything in it to personal, and certainly nothing you don’t already know so please I need your help here and your my best friend.  
Rhona takes the letter and reads. By the end you can see tears in eyes and she sniffs and smiles at Vanessa. Oh my god what an amazing letter, I would never have expected something that candid from Charity, but maybe I shouldnt be surprised. As far as I am aware and according to Moira, Mackenzie turned up on that day and had never been in the village before. They did bump cars and Charity told me she had no idea why or how the kiss happened. She was absolutely gutted when you didn’t come back home after the hearing. She had been wobbling for quite at time at that point. She even spoke to me about really needing to spend sometime with you. Ness I just want you to know im not saying it was right or excusable and im not taking sides but during your battle with Cancer you struggled understandably to continue and you two fell out a number of times and she got things wrong and so did you. I love you dearly but you expect people to talk to you and let you in then while facing something this huge you shut us all out. More importantly you shut Charity out and made some harsh decisions . I know why, you were scared and living in the unknown. We all got that at the time. How are you feeling about it all now though ?  
That’s just it Rhona I really am confused, I have been so angry with her. That helped but now I really don’t know. I have missed her so much and Johnny never stops asking when he will see him. And before you tell me, not letting her see him was wrong I know that now and I was being spiteful trying to hurt her back. I really didn’t behave well and I haven’t been rational about it till the letter arrived and I cant stop thinking about it all now.  
Yes when we bought Johnny to you I was worried how that would effect both of you. When we got back here and Charity found out she was totally devastated and inconsolable. The drunkenness followed .  
They sat at the table looking at each other and Rhona got up and opened another bottle of wine and they sat into the night catching up.  
The following morning Vanessa opened her eyes and for a moment she didn’t know where she was, then slowly last nights conversation came back to her and she lay there feeling worse than she can remember. Should she see Charity while she was here maybe offer her visitation with Johnny and tell her that she had been petty and cruel. Or would Charity just through it back in her face and tell her to get lost. Thinking about the letter she felt that was less likely than maybe it would have been before.  
Over breakfast Vanessa asked Rhona if she thought she should message or phone Charity and ask to see her or speak to her. Rhona was of the opinion that just knocking on her door might be best idea.  
So in bright sunlight of a warm September morning she stood outside the front door of Jacobs Fold and knocked, then held her breath.  
Ness ! oh my god I never thought I would see you again, and Vanessa looked up and into warm smiling beautiful green eyes……

To be continued….


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

Vanessa was lost in those green eyes. All her nerve endings were screaming at her to lean forward and touch Charity, but she remained glued to the spot. Her throat is tight and her mouth dry. No words are forth coming.   
Charity smiles softly and says “ Did you want to speak to me ? “  
Vanessa coming to her senses and says “ Yes sorry, I wondered if we could meet for a coffee tomorrow and talk about Johnny”  
Charity looks surprised but happy “ I would love that , Thank you Ness. Where and when ?  
“Umm maybe I could get us a coffee and we could walk or something, I don’t really want the whole village listening in. Would the morning about 10 be ok as travelling home after lunch. “  
Charity has a flash of sadness crosses her eyes and agrees to meet Vanessa outside the café. Vanessa thanks her and turns to go. Charity calls after her   
“ Ness I’m so pleased to see you looking so well. See you tomorrow”  
Oh god , Vanessa thinks to herself this is going to be harder than she thought.   
Charity watches her go, trying to steady herself as she thinks how much she loves this woman and wonders what tomorrow morning will bring.

Vanessa has arranged to see Tracy and Maddie for lunch and the rest of the day. She arrives and they have great fun playing with Maddie and catching up.  
When Maddie is tired and down for her nap they sit at the table in the kitchen and chat. Vanessa says “ I went to see Charity earlier, and we have arranged to meet tomorrow before I go home. I m gonna try and sort out some visits with her for Johnny” Tracy is shocked and immediately angry “ Why would you do that, She hurt you V and she doesn’t deserve any time with Johnny, Whats really going on . Are you getting back with her? “  
“Tracy calm down, I haven’t said that and she has every right to see Johnny as she is his Mother. I have been cruel keeping them apart. You know Johnny never stops asking for her”  
“ But V she doesn’t deserve this, you know she will get back in your good books and then you will give in to her”  
“Tracy why are you being like this ? You used to like Charity and you know she made me very happy, Would it be so wrong to be at least kind to each other. Tracy we had been through so much in our time together and if im honest I still love her”  
“ Oh please say you don’t mean that, You wouldn’t be that much of an idiot to let that slut back in your life”  
Vanessa looks startled and cant think of what to say next. She cant understand why Tracy is so against Charity.   
“ Look I don’t know whats going to happen but if Charity and I want to get back together it will be no ones business but ours. And I have no idea why you are so against her”  
“V she cheated on you when you were battling cancer and that’s the most despicable thing anyone could do”  
“She did cheat and I am not saying otherwise, but I had become distant and stopped talking to her, its not an excuse but it all played a part. I have no idea what the future holds but I have had time to think a lot about what happened and Charity wrote me a letter and I have spoken to Rhona and I believe now that there was no affair, and that in fact it was just a kiss. Im not saying that’s any better but she was telling the truth”  
“Well think what you like , she is a lying ,cheating skank”  
Tracy im not listening to this and if that’s the way you feel then I don’t know what to say other than I think I need to go”  
With that Vanessa ran out of Tracys and onto the main street. She is shaking and angry. She decides as it’s the afternoon and Charity isn’t working yet she will go for a pint to steady her nerves.  
When she walks in the pub is painfully familiar, there are so many happy memories here. Chas is behind the bar and smiles widely and comes to give her a big hug.  
“Vanessa its so good to see you , we have all missed you so much and you look so well. How is that little lad of yours”  
“oh he is fine and growing fast, I left him with my mother while I came down for a couple of days. I needed to sort some stuff out “  
“would any of that stuff be concerning a cousin of mine?”  
“ yes I have been cruel and petty and I am meeting Charity in the morning to sort out some visits with Johnny”  
“ she loves that boy , but he is not the only one she loves !!”  
“Chas there has been a lot of water under the bridge and only now do I feel ready to make this step”  
“I know she acts tough but she isn’t and has been devastated since you left, I don’t want to interfere but she really really loves you “  
“ I know Chas. But I don’t know that is enough”.  
Chas looks sad but shakes her head and goes to pull Vanessa a pint. She hopes her cousin doesn’t blow their talk in the morning.  
Vanessa tries to drink her pint in peace but half the village want to say hi and let her know that they all miss her and the vets is not the same without her. Several mention Charity and surprisingly quite a few in her favour that she is a different person since she has been with Vanessa and despite a drunken start has also turned things around in her absence. This doesn’t help her already full mind. Worst of all is all she can see in her mind is Charity and her beautiful eyes smiling at her. She was absolutely stunning standing in the door way earlier with the sun shining on her. All the feelings she knows have not gone away are raging in her right now. She has no idea what she wants to do about any of it. Tracy’s anger has taken her by surprise and she cant for the life of her work out why she said the things she did.  
Vanessa finishes her pint and calmer now she heads back to Rhona’s. She starts to put together some dinner from the food in the fridge and when Rhona and Leo come in there is a lovely meal waiting for them. After they have all eaten Leo disappears to his room to play and they get out a bottle of wine. Rhona asks how everything went ?  
“ I saw Charity this morning and then had lunch with Tracy and Maddie”  
“what was Charity like with you , Did you discuss Johnny ?”  
“She was fine , quite warm and welcoming we have arranged to meet in the morning to discuss him visiting”  
“That’s a really good thing Ness, I think that will be really good for both of them. How did you feel seeing her?”  
“Oh Rhona I don’t know , she is gorgeous and I still love her and I don’t know how to get past this. I told Tracy I had seen her and she was furious with me and very harsh about Charity”  
“Yes Tracy is still really angry with her, I am surprised she is still hanging on to it.”  
“ I don’t understand her, you would think that if I got back with Charity I would be back here with Johnny and around to help her while Nate is still away”  
“ I agree , at the end of the day Ness this is about what you want”  
“I wish I knew”  
After their chat Vanessa goes on up to her room and prepares for an early night as her sleep has been so hard lately. With her mind in turmoil its not going to be that easy to sleep anyway.  
Down at the woolpack Charity was throwing the last punters out and clearing up. By the time she has finished she is ready for home. She checks the kids and even Noah has turned his light out. She goes into her room and sits on the bed, Looking around the room she sees all the memories of ness in this room with her, Laughing , Loving , Holding her and crying together when life was kicking them hard. What she cant see is a future without Ness and Johnny in it. It really floored her this morning when she opened the door and the love of her life was stood there. But the pain is back now and she is so worried how she is going to cope spending time with her tomorrow. She cant see herself sleeping much and wonders if Ness will. 

To be continued…..


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

The sun was out again today as Vanessa looked out of the spare room at Rhona’s . She smiles at least they can walk or sit outside while they talk. She is so apprehensive , she has no idea what Charity will say or what mood she will be in . Its one thing to surprise her on the door step but another for an arranged meeting to talk about something that she knows has hurt Charity. And does she mention the break up or the pain it caused them all. Probably better not to go there at all and just hope Charity doesn’t want to talk about it.  
This is going to be hard enough without having to think about that or how she feels about Charity right now , because she doesn’t think she can answer that.  
Vanessa calls at the café ten minutes before they have arranged to meet to get the coffees and of course she remembers Charity’s favourite. Then walks slowly to the meeting spot. Looking up she sees Charity waiting in the sun looking stunning as she always does. The fact her heart skips a beat before beating a little bit faster is not helping.  
Charity looks up and smiles at Vanessa walking towards her. Charity cant remember a time that seeing Ness didn’t make her mouth dry and her pulse race. This time is different though they are just meeting to see if Charity can see Johnny and she desperately doesn’t want to mess that up today.  
Hey Ness Thanks for the coffee, shall we walk or do you want to sit down ?  
Vanessa winces a little at the affectionate name. The soft smile returns and she says ‘ lets walk’. At first the conversation is awkward both trying so hard not to say the wrong thing. But after ten minutes or so things feel a bit more natural and the pleasantries out the way , all the families and children asked after. Vanessa suggest they sit on a bank just of the path. As they sit down Vanessa finishes her coffee and clears her throat ‘ Ok I felt it was time I came and saw you to organise visits for you to see Johnny , He has missed you’ .  
‘ I would love to see him and I missed him like crazy, anything you will give me I will take’  
‘How about every other weekend here at yours’  
‘That would be amazing Ness thank you so much, I know I dont deserve this but it would make me so very happy’.  
‘Look Charity im not very interested in what you think you deserve, what I do care about is my son’  
Charity interrupts ‘ Our son’  
‘Ok our son, will you be able to spend proper time with him over your weekends ?’   
‘I will make sure I can. When do you want this to start ?’   
‘How about next weekend , I will get Tracy or Rhona to do the drop off and pick up’ Vanessa sees a sadness cross Charity’s eyes briefly and feels a surge of emotion as she looks at her.  
‘What ever works for you and makes things easy for you. How is your health now , if I may ask ?’  
‘I am still all clear and have been building my strength up bit by bit. But I still get tired quicker than I used too’  
Charity smiled and joked ‘ well we aren’t getting any younger’   
‘ Oi im fitter than you are. At least I do exercise’ Vanessa is laughing   
‘ You think so do you babe? ‘  
‘Definitely, Your idea of exercise is getting out of bed’  
‘ Right I will race you to the stone wall over there and pointed to a wall over the other side of the path, probably about 150 mtrs away’.  
Charity stands up and prepares to start running, then sets off before Vanessa can think, So she sets off after her, catching her up they reach the wall almost together but Vanessa just pips Charity to it.   
‘ See you cant even win when you cheat’ Vanessa immediately stops and realises what shes said. ‘I mean in the race’ she stutters.  
‘ Well I certainly didn’t win anything Ness’ Charity looks sad and broken just for a few seconds. Then she laughs and congratulates Vanessa on her win and tells her how pleased she is that she is recovering well and hopes she is happy.  
Vanessa is looking straight at her and knows that what she is saying is totally genuine. She smiles and says ’ Not sure about happy but I am better than I was’  
With that she reaches for Charity’s cheek with her hand and pulls her in and very softly kisses her on the lips, Charity hesitates for just a second then kisses her back. The kiss deepens and Vanessa pulls back a little and says jokingly ‘ you were always good for a bit of fun’ and leans into Kiss Charity again. The second kiss is just as sweet. All of a sudden Charity pulls back quickly and looks   
at Vanessa shakes her head and says ‘ Sorry Ness not what I want. Im not a bit of fun. I cant do this im sorry’. And with that she rushes off back towards the village.  
Vanessa is stunned and stands there watching her go. What did she say or do. Vanessa thought they both enjoyed the kisses. She had ,a lot. She was shaken and confused. It seemed to be going so well. She obviously didn’t want to kiss her so all that about her being the love of Charity’s life was meaningless. That cant be right, why would she say all that and not mean it.  
Vanessa feeling angry now walks back to where her car is parked and gets in . Her bags are already in the back. So she sets of home to her Mums and Johnny.  
Her mind is in a worse turmoil than it was when she arrived. She thought maybe….Oh this is maddening. She really cant work that bloody woman out .  
Did she want her back or was she just toying with her. Did Charity think she was playing. And if so why would she think that. They haven’t spoken in almost a year and the last time was a disaster. Now this . The anger builds in her. The journey home passes while she is turning it all over in her mind.  
Mean while in Jacobs Fold Charity is laying on the couch crying. How could Ness do that, just kiss her for a bit of fun. Did she not mean anything to her now. Does she really think that she put all that stuff in the letter and didn’t mean it. She sits up and reaches for her phone and calls her counsellor. She needs to talk to her. She cant afford to go back down into that drunken hell again. She manages to get a cancellation for two days time.  
Vanessa arrives home and her mum takes one look at her and says ‘ Whats that little bitch done now ?’  
‘ Nothing mum just leave it and please don’t call her that. She is Johnny’s other mum’.  
‘Oh I don’t I know, stupid decision that was. Is she gonna have him then for visits or did she blow that ? ‘ .   
‘We have arranged that she can have him every other weekend starting next weekend’  
‘ Well at least you can get out and try and meet some nice chap then’  
‘ Seriously mum if im gonna meet anyone it would be a woman’  
‘ Oh for goodness sake aren’t you over this faze yet Vanessa’  
With that Vanessa turns and walks away. Upstairs she finds Johnny playing with his toys . ‘ Hi sweetheart, how is mummies best boy ? were you good for Granny’  
‘Yes mummy where did you go?’   
‘I went to visit Rhona and Leo and see auntie Tracy and Maddie’  
‘ Oh I love Maddie are they all missing us ? Mummy did you see mummy Charity, I miss her too lots ’  
‘ I know you do darling and next weekend you are going to see her and Moses and Noah’  
‘ Yey, that’s great , are we going home mummy ?’  
‘No darling , you are going to spend every other weekend with them so mummy Charity gets to spend time with you ok ‘   
Johnny looks really disappointed and breaks her heart a little more.   
Damn Charity and her hurting cheating ways. Its all her fault and I hate her for what she has done to me and my son and she is surprised at the anger that surges through her.

To be continued……


	5. Chapter

Chapter 5 

Its been 4 months now since Vanessa kissed Charity. And this woman occupies most of her thoughts. Things have changed after Vanessa returned to her mums, she phoned Rhona when she had settles back in and told her what happened. Rhona asked her why she kissed Charity and she explained that they were laughing and she remembered how they used to be and just leaned in and kissed her, Charity kissed her back until the second kiss, then she rushed off. Rhona asked What happened to make her dash off and I told her that I said Charity was always good for’ a bit of fun ‘, meaning the laughter. She heard Rhona take a sharp intake of breath and she said as when you and Charity first got together it was classed ‘ as a bit of fun ‘ do you think she thought that’s what you meant ?   
Vanessa had not given that idea a thought , but now Rhona had mentioned it it was all she could think about. Had she been completely thoughtless and wrong to judge Charity’s reaction as heartless. During the rest of her chat with Rhona she told her about her worry over the amount of anger she had and how quickly she lost her temper. Rhona suggested she talk to her doctor.  
So Vanessa booked an appointment and went to have a chat with him. After going through everything that had happened he suggested she would benefit from some counselling and also gave her some tablets to help with her sleep and anxiety.  
Vanessa had been seeing Steve now for 3 months and it has really helped put things in perspective. How much she survived and the hurt caused by Charity’s betrayal. He also let her talk about seeing her and the children and the feeling of lose of their family and the future she thought she was fighting for. Over this time he has asked her how she feels about Charity now. She told him that she knows she still loves her, but has no idea if she or them can get past all this . He replied that this was something only they could decide. Vanessa had told him the contents of the letter and the circumstances of the kiss.  
The best part of all this has been that Vanessa is actually starting to feel like herself again and Johnny has noticed the change too and they are getting on much better again. Her mum on the other hand is still as judgmental as always and Charity’s name is not to be mentioned around her. She hates when Johnny comes back from a weekend with her full of things they have done and fun they have all had. Vanessa cant help but feel jealous. 

Back in Emmerdale life has trudged on for Charity with the only joy being her kids and now being able to see Johnny again. That has been amazing and she so loves that little boy.  
After she rushed away from Vanessa that day she went to see her counsellor a couple days later. Kelly was great with her and has been a god send in the past 14 months, Without her Charity has no idea where she would be right now. After Vanessa broke up with her she was so devastated at what she had done to her all she could do was use alcohol to numb the pain. And had gone along way down that slippery slope.  
She finally got herself to the doctors at Chas and Debbie’s instance and finally got some help . She knows now she should have done this after the Bails trial but she is nothing if not stubborn. She knows that she wouldn’t have felt like Vanessa was leaving her all the time and using her old habits to solve her feelings. The hardest part was knowing that it took losing Vanessa to understand all this too late. Vanessa is not at all sure that anything will ever take away the pain of loosing the love of her life, but she does know that still having all of children is a blessing and the most she can hope for. Plenty of the locals have seen the progress she has made and the changes in how she reacts and acts. They also think its time she thought about dating. Charity cant even think about going out with anyone who isn’t Vanessa. What would be the point. No one would ever measure up in any way. Charity just decided its better to go it alone.  
That is until the letter drops through the front door of Jacobs Fold.  
Charity knows her handwriting straight away. Charity is hesitant to open it in case Vanessa is telling her she can no longer have Johnny that will break her heart forever. Charity leaves the letter sitting on the table inside the front door till she gets back from work later. She canrt cope if its bad news and then have to go and smile.   
Not reading it first doesn’t really help and as soon as she gets in she opens it and starts to read….

Hey Charity

Im sure you weren’t expecting a letter from me. And I should say, you might not read this but I can only hope you do.  
There was so much I wanted to talk to you about when we last saw each other. So many things that hadn’t been said between us. I think I should say that you making me laugh that day reminded me so much of the times we had had together and that’s why I kissed you , because I wanted to . And what I said I see now was careless and not meant the way I think you may have taken it. I meant fun as in laughter. A very large part of our relationship. And how no matter what we had always been able to make each other laugh. I am so sorry if you thought it was reference to anything else.  
Your letter to me all those months back was beautiful and I don’t think I can match that. The reason I was so very angry with you for your betrayal was because I love you so much and I have loved you completely for so long. You are also the love of my life. I miss our family and the future I thought we were going to have.   
This letter also comes with no expectation. I wanted to tell you that I believe that I was wrong and it was just a kiss. That doesn’t make it much better but I understand and know there was no affair. I was so very happy that day to tell you the news I honestly didn’t think I would get. Then it all came crashing down and I was so angry, angrier than I ever remember being before and that rage went on a long time. I have sorted somethings out in myself and understand a lot more about what has happened to me over the past 2 years.   
I was cruel and seeking to hurt you when I didn’t contact you about you seeing Johnny and he begged me to see you and my anger controlled my actions. I am sorry for that and not hearing you out.  
I have also come to understand that no relationship ends with only one party playing a part. You wouldn’t have been paranoid and upset if I had stopped communicating properly with you and I know I handled all that wrong. What does worry me is how easily you thought I would stop loving you. But I think that’s something you need to think about if you haven’t already.I think that is your inability to know how worth my love you are.   
I honestly have no idea where we go from here if anywhere . So much has changed and so much water under the bridge. I have no idea what you want.  
That might be presumptuous as you may well have moved on in this time apart and I don’t want to stand in your way of being happy. You of all people deserve it and I wish the very best for you . I do hope at the very least we can continue to co parent as we do now.  
Your letter was brave so regardless of what I put in the paragraph above I am also going to be brave and lay it on the line.  
Charity I love you with all my heart. I have loved you for so long and you are the love of my life. I never knew feelings like this existed until I met you. You are still the best thing that ever happened to me.  
Be happy.

Always Your 

Ness x 

Charity’s hands are shaking as she holds the letter. She has all kinds of feelings running around her body. And ridiculously wide smile on her face.  
She calms herself and tries to think of the best next move. First she needs to talk to the kids and then Chas………  
To be continued


	6. Chapter

Chapter 6 

The following day Charity pops into the Woolpack to have a chat with Chas.  
“ What brings you here so early “ ?  
“ I need a really big favour, I need 4 days off and I wonder if you could have Moses“  
“ When “   
“ Tomorrow until Friday eve”  
“That’s really short notice, What are you up too”  
“ nothing bad I promise, Just need some time “  
“ Right ,Ok I will gladly have Moses and then you need to have a chat with someone to cover your evening shifts “  
“Thanks Chas I will explain when im back”  
With that Charity left and headed to Hop to see Victoria.  
“ Hi Vic I need a really big favour, I know you don’t work at the pub now but you don’t work evenings do you”?  
“ No I don’t but I have Harry to take care of.”  
“Yes I know you do, I just need a really big favour I need to go away for the next 3 evenings, Leaving tomorrow and back in time for Friday evening shift. I wouldn’t ask if it didn’t mean so much to me”  
“ Back to doing scams then eh?”  
“No Victoria its nothing like that This is a personal thing”  
“Im pleased to hear it cause you have done so well these past few years. And in that belief I will do your 3 shifts. But you will owe me Charity”  
“ Noted and Thank you so much Vic, I will let Chas know “

Charity left feeling a little lighter and hoping this plan works. Now she needs to pick up Moses and talk to the kids before her shift this evening.  
Moses is full of chatter in the back of the car, Happy with his day at Nursery and the painting he has done. And it is a lovely picture he has painted its Mummy, Noah and Sarah and standing just off to the side is Vanessa and Johnny it makes Charity’s heart tighten at the thought that just maybe she can give him that for real.  
When Noah and Sarah get home she sits them down and look at her with worried faces.  
“ its nothing bad but im going away for a couple of days. I need you to keep this to yourself as I haven’t told anyone else where I am going. I am going to see Vanessa, she wrote to me and I want to see if I have any chance of getting them back”  
Noah looks surprised “ that would be incredible mum, do you think she will come back and Johnny?”  
“I hope so babe I really really hope so. I am gonna trust you and Sarah to stay here, But Moses is going to the pub so Chas can look after him. I have stocked up the fridge for you and I will leave some cash for a pizza.”  
“ We will be fine Mum and we will behave I promise Just please get them home.”  
“ I will do everything I can”

The arrangements are all sorted this end. Charity packs some clothes for the time away. Tonight’s shift had been boring so she had time to think about what she wanted to take and before her shift she booked herself in to a Hotel just outside Leeds and not too far from Vanessa’s Mums. The nervous are kicking in now, What is she going to say to Ness to get her to have dinner with her so they can talk away from her Mum and Johnny. Charity decides she is probably better of winging it and see what the reception is like when she arrives. She hasn’t told Vanessa that she is coming as she wants the element of surprise.   
Charity lays in bed staring at the ceiling realising that sleep is really not going to come easily if at all. All she can think about is seeing the love of her life tomorrow after the last 4 months. She wants to take her in her arms and never let her go. She hopes that Ness wants the same and somehow they can put themselves back together . All she knows is that she cant bare the thought of never having her back in her life and her bed.  
Daylight finally arrives and Charity wakes slowly after only getting a few hours sleep. So many happy memories dancing through her mind as she tried to sleep. And today is the day she is going to put it all on the line. She has never been so scared or so hopeful at the same time. She gets up and starts waking the kids and continues with the normal chaos that the morning routine brings.  
Charity has decided to leave after lunch and having put her bags in the car she has one other person she wants to see before she leaves. She takes Moses to nursery and the older two go off to school leaving her alone finally in peace. She flics through her phone and pulls up Debbie’s number and rings her. After the normal pleasantries, she tells Debbie she is going to see Vanessa and she hears Debbie breath in sharply.  
“ Are you sure that’s a good idea Mum, I don’t want to see you hurt again”  
“ I know love , but I have to try. If I don’t I will never know and I don’t want the rest of my life without her”  
“ I know Mum how much you love her, but you have been doing so well lately”  
“ Debbie I get what you’re saying and I am in a good place. Iam ready to tell her everything and see what happens. I know if I don’t try I will regret it”  
“Ok Mum all I can say then is good luck , you know how we all feel about Vanessa and if the worst happens we will all still be here for you”  
“ Thanks babe that means the world to me. Love you babe”  
Well Charity thinks one down and one to go. As she hits Ryans contact on her phone. He is a lot more positive that this is worth a try and agrees with Debbie that the whole family would love to see them back together.  
Having checked in at the farm she knows that Rhona is at home so she makes her way across to her door and knocks, Rhona opens the door and smiles and invites Charity in .Once the coffee is made Rhona puts a mug in front of Charity and asks how she is doing ?  
“ I have come round cause you have been kind to me over the past year or so and I regard you as a friend, not something I have ever really had before”  
“ Yes Charity I would agree with that” says Rhona looking puzzled  
“ Im going to see Ness. Leaving after I have had a coffee with you”  
“ Oh wow I see, Does she know you are coming?”  
“ No I wanted it to be surprise, but she did write me a letter that I received a couple of days ago and I think I need to tell her everything and see if we have a future”  
“ Ok I can see that would be a good idea, But if it doesn’t go the way you hope are you going to be ok Charity cause I don’t think your family could go through you falling apart again. Don’t get me wrong I will be there to help , im just worried about the kids”  
“ Rhona honestly I will be ok this time I have seen kelly a few times over the last week or so and im feeling good. I really have thought about this and I need to try and from what she put in the letter I think there is hope”  
“ Then there is only one thing I can say, Good Luck and bring them home Charity”  
With that she leans over and gives Charity a small hug and smiles. Charity smiles back and just as she is leaving she turns and says  
“ Please don’t give Ness the heads up “  
“ I wouldn’t do that “  
Charity gets in the car and starts her journey. If she has timed this right she should arrive at the house after Vanessa has picked Johnny up from Nursery.  
She stands at the front door and rings the bell, remembering the scene she made last time she was here.  
The front door opens to reveal Vanessa’s mum standing there look daggers at Charity  
“ Hello Mrs Woodfield Is Vanessa here please” At that moment Johnny come barrelling towards Charity yelling” Mummy Charity is here” and as he charges into Charity she sees a surprised face appear from a doorway in the hall.  
Charity picks Johnny up and hugs him tightly, whispering that she has missed him and loves him over and over as he grabs her hair and cuddles her neck.  
Vanessa comes to the door with a smile on her face and Charity thinks that is a good start. Mrs Woodfield however is scowling disapprovingly.   
“ Vanessa I don’t think this is a good idea I will get rid of her” As she moves to take Johnny out of Charities arms. Johnny of course starts to scream the place down. He is not keen on Granny at the best of times.  
“ No Mum leave Johnny where he is and I will speak to her, you just go and drink your tea , its on the coffee table”   
Mrs Woodfield doesn’t look happy about this but as Johnny is upset she huffs and leaves.  
“Hey “ Ness is looking straight at Charity, “ How are you, this is a surprise”  
“ Hey to you too, Yes it was meant to be. I had hoped you would open the door”  
“Mmm that would have been easier, So why are you here, Is everyone ok ? “  
“ Yes everyone is fine and send their love. I came to ask if you will come and have dinner with me tonight?”  
“ Where”   
“ Where you think is good around here as I don’t really know anywhere . If you say I can book it and come and pick you up”  
“ well there is a nice Italian in the local high street, But why Charity”  
“ I think its time we talked properly and I thought a neutral place and no one around to interfere would make that easier”  
“ Yes you have a point there, Ok I will be ready. What time”  
“ I will pick you up at 7.00pm will that be ok for you Ness “  
Vanessa smiles gently at the term of endearment “ Yes that works for me, I will see you later, Come on Johnny we need to get your tea young man”  
“ See you soon Ness, Love you Johnny be good for Mummy ”  
Charity leaves feeling hopeful again. Now all she has to do is open up and tell Ness everything that has happened. And she knows that wont be easy….

To be continued


	7. Chapter

Chapter 7 

Charity pulled up outside Vanessa’s Mums at 2 minutes to 7pm . Her nerves were shot. She was hoping she wouldn’t have a panic attack. This is probably the most important conversation she has ever had to have because all she can focus on is bringing her family back together and not just for her.  
Vanessa comes out the front door before Charity can get out of the car. She looks gorgeous and has made a special effort for this evening . That makes Charity smile cause it took her ages to be happy with her appearance too.  
“ Hey” Vanessa says as she gets into the passenger seat.   
“ Hey, How was your Mum after I left?”  
“ Well lets just say she wasn’t very happy, but to be honest she never is”  
“ I hope just turning up earlier didn’t make things difficult for you”  
“As if I care what she says. You know I agree we need to talk “  
“ You look lovely Ness” Charity said a little shyly as if not sure if she should say.  
Vanessa immediately smiles and Charity knows that was ok.  
They just do small talk on the way to restaurant, and as much as Charity hates small talk not talking seems a worse option tonight. The restaurant that Vanessa had suggested was quite small but cosy and warm. The tables were not all crammed together and they had a booth at the back. This gave Charity a bit of hope that no one else would hear what she was telling Ness.  
“ What do you fancy Charity ?. I don’t think I should have a drink as I think I need a clear head for this. And you are driving so Im happy with a soft drink and I think I will have Lasagne”.  
Charity smiles with the memory of Ness’s Lasagne she put in the bin and looking up she thinks that Ness is having the same thought. Its weird how hard she thought this would be and still does but it also feels so right and comfortable at the same time.  
“ I think a soft drink is a good idea , but I think I will stay clear of Lasagne and have a Carbonara instead”  
They talk about the boys until their food arrives and Charity thinks that the time has come to start to tell Ness everything. She talks calmly and quietly and says,  
“ Ok Ness I want to start this off by telling you things that will be hard to hear I think , but I need you to promise not to interrupt as this is hard for me. I am going to be completely honest. Every word ok “  
“ Right, you make it sound a bit scary. I wont interrupt or at least I will try not to. If you start putting yourself down I might not be able to contain myself”  
“Ness there will be some of that but I need you to hear all of it, because some of it is important as to how I was feeling. So please” with that Charity looks into those beautiful eyes and gives a silent plea.  
“ Alright I will do my best”  
“ Ok, in the letter I sent you I explained what happened a few days before and on the day I kissed that ridiculous man. So now I am going to tell what came after I knew that we were over. I obviously was devastated and cried a lot and I mean a lot, But I was also drinking a lot. For months I am ashamed to say. I just couldn’t cope. Nothing mattered”. Charity drew breath and took another mouth full and looked across the table at sad blue eyes and continued.  
“ I couldn’t look after myself so I really couldn’t look after the kids. Noah and Sarah were absolutely furious with me for ruining it all and driving you and Johnny away. I asked Ross to have Moses and he stayed there for months.  
Noah and Sarah I tried to ship of to Cains or anyone who would have them. I needed them away from me cause I was falling apart completely”  
“ I needed to make sure they weren’t coming back to Jacobs fold without me knowing. By this time most of the village had had their say in my downfall and loosing you. Cheating on you. I had Tracy screaming at me across the village. The truth is no one had to tell me what I had done and how much I had hurt you and how dreadful I should feel. I already did and then some”.  
“ Approximately 4 months after we split up , so about 8 months since I had last seen you Ness in person and not on a screen I decided I could no longer handle my life and I was ruining my kids lives as well”  
“I sat in Jacobs Fold the place I regarded as our home and I swallowed a bottle of pills. I had no intension of being found , this was not a cry for help. I just couldn’t be there alone with myself. I felt worthless. You were what made me a better person, everyone said so”  
“I had not accounted for Chas coming round for another attempt at getting a bottle out of my hands, At this point I hadn’t done a shift at the pub for 3 months and she was getting to breaking point. And to be honest I thought she had given up”.   
“ I have to tell the next bit from what Chas has told me as I was out of it by this time” “ She called Tracy and begged for help after she called an ambulance, But she wouldn’t come so Chas tried Rhona and she was there with seconds running down the road to help. I was surprised when Chas told me”. Rhona and Chas had picked me up and started walking me around the room as best they could trying to wake me”  
Charity looks up again and sees Vanessa’s eyes wet with tears and a stunned look on her face. But she needs to keep going.  
“ The next thing I remember was waking up in hospital and choking on the tube down my throat as they pumped my stomach, not something I would recommend to anyone” Charity gives a rye laugh at this point and another deep breath and continues.   
“ Noah and Sarah were there white as sheets and looking more scared than I think I have ever seen them. Chas and Rhona were there with them and trying to reassure them it must have been an accident. I don’t think they ever really believed that though. And all I could think of was why was I still in this hell”  
After another few mouthfuls and a drink Charity continues as Vanessa sits quietly and a few tears roll down her face.  
“ I was seen by the doctor and just wanted to get out of there to try again away from people who might try to stop me, My life had been a total disaster from 13 onwards, I have hurt people and done awful things to survive and I really had no idea what I had survived for. My kids were so much better off with other members of the family”.   
At this a tear rolled down Charity’s face and Vanessa reached out and placed her hand on Charity’s. Charity doesn’t pull her hand away and allows the soft touch to help her continue.  
“The hospital would not let me leave before someone from the psych ward had been to see me, Even though I argued against this thankfully they insisted.  
And a nice lady called Kelly arrived to see me. This was a turn around point for me. She talked to me in a way that you used to and suggested that I take her card and arranged a time to see her properly . Amazingly for me it seemed like a good idea as I figured I could not get any worse and Kelly seemed genuinely nice to talk to. And this was a major turning point for me. The past 10 months have been life changing and I am the first to admit I really didn’t believe that talking could do so much. As you know 4 months ago I wrote to you and that was part of my recovery. Having said that I meant every single word and always will. When you came back I was so pleased to see you and so incredibly grateful that you would trust me with Johnny , you have no idea how much I missed him. Then we kissed and every part of me wanted to carry on but when you said I was good for fun. I just had to run because I didn’t want just fun Ness I wanted it all of it back then. I had dreamed about you a lot but never really thought I would be able to tell you all this. I made an appointment after that and saw Kelly quite a bit again for a few weeks just to try and negotiate the emotions I was having. Then your letter arrived and I felt this was worth a try. I have the kids all back with me, They all know that I have been in counselling and they are all proud of me and I am of myself too. Rhona has been an unexpected friend through this and I am really am a better person now and although I know your strength helped me change I understand now that I have changed myself and I do deserve to be happy and I am a good Mum. Its been a long road and I will still see Kelly regularly , but I know now that I am worth loving”.  
Charity puts her cutlery down as she finishes both her dinner and what she wanted to tell Ness.  
“Oh my god Charity I had no idea how hard things were for you , I feel so bad I put you through that”  
“No you didn’t Ness, You just acted on my cheating and quite rightly, you have nothing to feel bad about. The only thing I think was both our faults was the bad communication that certainly happened for me from the break up the year before I think I was on edge from then expecting the worse all the time.”  
Vanessa and Charity look at each other and Vanessa says “well I suppose I need to tell you about my last year now then. Before I do I want to say how proud I am of you , How much you have achieved and how amazing I think you are, But I always have”. With that Vanessa squeezes Charity’s hand and looks into those beautiful green eyes and simply says..” I Love you Charity Dingle”….  
To be continued……


	8. Chapter

Chapter 8 

Charity called the waiter over and they ordered a desert to share and coffees. After he left Vanessa having taken her hand back before moved it back across the table to Charity’s hand and resumed holding it.   
Vanessa started to tell Charity it all from her perspective.   
“When I got the picture I was stunned and felt sick, but my main emotion was anger and I mean blind anger. I felt that I had been battling cancer and you had been fooling around. I spoke to Tracy and she confirmed a few days later that it was an affair, not just the kiss you kept saying it was. Being so angry I felt of course you were lying, you always lie. It wasn’t even anger it was rage, and I used it to get through the first few months. I was imagining you with him not giving me a thought. Him in our bed with you touching and kissing you and the rage went on and on. Johnny was starting to be wary of me. So I hid the worst of it from him. Mum of course was doing “ well what did you expect from a common tart” and I just agreed and carried on hating you”.  
Vanessa looked up to see tears again in Charity’s eyes. At this moment the waiter arrived with their order.  
Vanessa waited and then continued, ”This went on for several months and slowly I got used to the new normal and felt less rage , but when I thought of you it was unbearable. I had wished I was able not to think of you. That didn’t work. Then your letter arrived. By this time I had a part time job and Johnny into a local nursery and life had settled into a dull routine”.  
“Your words made me stop and really think, I phoned Rhona and asked if I could stay with her a few days and when I arrived I told her about the letter, and im sorry I let her read it. She then told me that she had been seeing you a bit as at the beginning you hadn’t coped to well, She didn’t tell me the rest and suggested I needed to talk to you. I was still very confused about how I felt about everything that happened, but I did know that I still loved you under all the anger and hurt that was growing less by the day. And missing you more each day. The most important part of what she told me was that you had only kissed McKenzie as he had just arrived here and there had been no affair. Also that you had been really upset and in a confused state about us for days ahead of this kiss. I know that’s what you said in the letter and I know I should have believed you with out having Rhona confirm it. Trust is difficult with you, I hate to say as you have lied many times. That has made it hard for me to know exactly what to think. As you know trust is a huge issue for me. Please believe that I am not having a go. Just trying to explain where my head was”.  
“ After I saw you to arrange our meeting I went to see Tracy and Maddie and once Maddie had gone down for her nap I told Tracy about seeing you to organise seeing Johnny, She went ballistic and called me stupid and you weren’t worth it. That I was mad to consider letting you see him. And why did I need to see you and that you would try to get me back and I would be crazy to have anything to do with you. I just left”.  
“The next morning I saw you and my heart started pounding out of my chest and when we talked it all just seemed so normal for us. I knew I had been cruel and punishing you with Johnny and when I offered an olive branch you took it. That day we met and you ended up making me laugh, Looking into to your eyes by that wall I was overcome by the sense of familiarity of having been in this situation before and kissed you because it felt right. Feeling my lips on yours was like coming home.”   
Vanessa finished her desert and passed what was left towards Charity. Stirred her coffee and started again.  
“ The second kiss was as wonderful, then you pulled away and rushed off, I really couldn’t think why. I just decided you were messing with me and back came the anger. I got in my car and drove home. When I got there I told my mum about letting you see Johnny and she went mad about it. I left her to it and went a found a quiet space and phoned Rhona and told her what had happened. She told me that she didn’t think you were messing me about. I was back to confused and I also told her about this rage that had been going on for months and she suggested I needed to go talk to my doctor”.  
Charity couldn’t stop herself saying “ Ness you have to know I haven’t slept with anyone since you. Please believe me “.  
Charity by this time had finished the desert off and drunk her coffee and was sitting gently rubbing Vanessa’s hand with her fingers quietly listening to her and taking it all in and more importantly understanding where Vanessa was coming from, She knew her default setting was to lie and play games with people. She had done so many times before and how often had Ness tried to make her understand that telling her everything was more important than what she had done. It seems she really messed that part up because when she did tell the truth she wasn’t believed, and she only had herself to blame.   
Vanessa took a breath and carried on “ I made an appointment and talked to my new doctor explained how I had been feeling and everything that had happened and he felt that seeing someone would help as I had been through an awful lot to just cope with alone. My counsellor is called Steve “ and with this she looked up into Charity’s eyes and saw the smile appear there. “ He has been amazing and it turns out that the rage and quick anger that had become part of my every day and bad sleeping habits was in fact PTSD. He thinks that the trauma of being taken by Pearce and also finding out about the cancer at the same time was more than my system could process”.  
Charity looked at her and her face was soft and caring as she realised she hadn’t been imagining things being different after she got Ness home after her ordeal and obviously trying to cope with it all was impossible for her ‘tiny blond rocket woman’ and why back then hadn’t she seen that.  
“ I thought I was in control and of course I was far from it. I think for large parts of that time I didn’t treat you very well. And I do understand that this was entirely the situation I was trying to cope with and not you Charity I was distant and irritable”.  
Charity did chip in here “ Babe that’s hardly surprising, and you were ok , honestly”  
“ Charity I didn’t treat you very well on a few occasions , What about when I wanted to give Johnny to Rhona ? “   
“ Ness its fine, I don’t hold anything against you babe”.   
“ Well either way for me it played a large part in what came next, as my fear of still having cancer grew and thinking the treatment hadn’t worked I got more and more distant with you even when I knew you were feeling paranoid, I just didn’t know how bad that had got. Talking to Steve made me understand all of that and begin to feel myself again and start to put the past into context”.   
What I do know without any doubt at all is that I love you Charity”.  
“ Love you too babe”.  
Charity was the next to speak after some hesitation.  
“ Where do we go from here?.  
“ How about another drink down the road. I am not ready to go home just yet?”  
“Ok we can do that. I will get the check and we can leave”.  
“ Are you sure im happy to pay my half Charity”.  
“ No its fine , You can pay next time”.  
“ Next time !!” “ Will there be a next time ?”  
“ God I hope so Ness”  
“ Now lets go find a nice pub close by we still have an hour till closing and I have a couple of other bits to tell you Ness”.  
They found a nice local just down the road from the restaurant. Having ordered their drinks and found a table they settled down and Vanessa turned to Charity.  
“ Come on then what else should I know. Are you seeing someone?”  
“ Don’t be daft Ness, Nothing like that. My Dad passed away about nine months ago, His liver finally gave up. Amazingly he left everything to me. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t want anything to do with it at first. But then by the time probate had been completed it coincided with me getting back on my feet and getting the kids back and being honest with everyone. I did try to build bridges with Tracy too but to no avail. I have recently sold his bungalow and that’s about all he did leave me, It has given me the opportunity to buy a house for me and the kids and that includes Johnny , Cause I am assuming he still my kid?”  
Charity looked up at Vanessa and she nodded looking embarrassed again for keeping Johnny away from her.  
“ I had to get away from Jacobs fold there were to many memories there with out you there. Memories I wanted to treasure but too many I hated and felt so sad about”. I actually talked to Jai again and asked if I could purchase his house as he had rented it instead of selling it all that time ago and as luck would have it his tenants were leaving the following month. And we reached a figure we were both happy with. Everything should be going through in the next month. The kids are excited as its bigger and I think they would like a change too. I wont be having Sarah anymore as I spoke to Debbie about Jacobs Fold and she said she had been thinking about coming home especially after my antics. She should arrive back in the next two months”.  
Vanessa was beaming and said “ Wow that’s a lot, Im so please that Debs is coming back, I know how much you have missed her and jack. Whats going to happen with the garage?”  
“ She has a guy working with her, Stan who is going to manage the place and take on an apprentice”.  
“ That’s brilliant. I think we need to go before they throw us out”. Vanessa said laughing quietly.  
“ Come on then lets get you home then”.  
“ Where are you staying while you are here ?”  
“ A Hotel outside Leeds, Why?”  
“ We could go there”, Vanessa looked at Charity and had a glint in her eyes.  
“ Ness there is nothing I want more but I think we really need to think about this and take it slow, We have both been through a lot and I really need this to work. I don’t think I can lose you again “.  
“Oh my god you are being the sensible one, and like you I would love it” She said giving Charity a cheeky wink. “ but I think you are right. Whats next then?”  
“ Are you free tomorrow?”  
“ Yes I have a day off”.  
“ Spend the day with me Ness”.

…..To be continued.


	9. Chapter

Chapter 9

Charity pulls the car up just before Vanessa’s mum’s house, as she didn’t want to be right outside. And she turns to look at Vanessa. Charity looks longingly into Vanessa’s eyes. “ I must be mad turning you down tonight, you do know I want you, I just feel that we need still to get some stuff behind us to move on properly”.  
“ Yes I know you want me Charity and I do understand what you are saying, its just so weird hearing it from you”  
“Oi I have told you before You’re the weird one” and the tension is broken as they both laugh. Charity gently puts her hand against Vanessa’s cheek and pulls her in for a lovingly soft kiss.   
They arrange to meet after Vanessa has dropped Johnny at nursery in the morning and Vanessa starts to get out of the car.   
Charity says “ You know when I am in that big bed I will be thinking of you babe”  
“ Mind always in the gutter” Vanessa says with a smirk.  
“ Only for you Kid”

Vanessa lets herself back in the house and feels her stomach sink as she realises her mother has stayed up.  
“ So I suppose that tart has you back in her clutches then. Do you have no self respect?”  
“ Mum please don’t start, This is my life and I need to sort it out for myself. We are not jumping straight back into this and will take our time to make sure we get it right. You must understand we have both been through a lot”.  
“ Well I have news for you lady, if you are back seeing her you can leave my house”.  
And with that she walks away and goes up to her room and closes the door.  
Vanessa just stands there with her mouth slightly open. Oh God what now. She really doesn’t want to move back in with Charity yet and she has Johnny to consider. Not to mention her part time job. Why is it all still a mess. She is so happy to have Charity back in her life. She has missed her and the family so very much and it seemed things might work out. Now all of sudden there is no time to think, now she needs to act. Where can she go. Should she text Charity and tell her she cant meet her and explain she cant see her till she has sorted her own life out. The thought of not seeing Charity just doesn’t feel right. No that is not an option.  
Vanessa has a really restless night and her mind is going around and around.   
When the following morning she pulls the car up near the café they arranged to meet at she can see Charity standing on the pavement outside looking worried and nervous. Her heart beats a little faster and she smiles at the sight of her. As she walks towards Charity she turns and sees her and her face lights up.  
“ Thought you were gonna stand me up babe”.  
“ No Charity you know I wouldn’t do that, but im pretty knackered I Had a bad night”  
“ Oh Babe couldn’t stop thinking about me Eh! “.  
“ I wish it was” Vanessa turns away.  
“ Whats the matter Ness?”  
“ Lets just get in there and get a nice warm coffee its bliming freezing out here”.  
They find a table towards the back and sit down. Charity is looking at vanessa with concern.  
“ Ok spill”  
“Mum stayed up for me to get in last night and had a go at me “  
“ What are you still a kid “  
“ No but she has made her disapproval quite clear”.  
“Never mind Ness she will just have to lump it till we are ready to take the next step”.  
“Umm that’s just the problem Charity, She has said if I am going to keep seeing you I need to move out now”  
“ You have got to be kidding me babe, She would see you and Johnnybobs out on the street because she cant stand me?”  
“ Seems like it . I spoke to her this morning and she is not changing her position”.  
Charity looks really worried now and quietly asks “ So do you think we are worth finding another solution for?”  
“ God yes, I just have no idea what. I need the loo be back in a min”  
As Charity watches her go she picks up her phone and rings Debs. She is still talking to her as Vanessa returns to the table. When she has finished she looks up at Vanessa.  
“ Have you spoken to Paddy lately, How is the practice doing ?”  
Vanessa looks a little puzzled but answers “ Well not in the last few weeks but he is desperate for me to go back. Why ?”  
“ I phoned Debbie and had a chat to her about her plans, Its gonna be at about three months before she is gonna be able to come back and I am planning on moving in to Tenents Cottage next week. So how about you and Johnny move into Jacobs Fold or is that too close. Or maybe you aren’t ready to come back yet?”  
“ Actually that would be amazing, Is she sure?”  
“ Babe they all miss you like crazy and maybe this way you can win Tracy round aswell”.  
“ Right how are we going to do this ? I need to give notice but as im on a casual contract its just a week.”  
“ That’s sorted then babe. What shall we do now”.  
“ Well I fancy a walk, I know its cold but at least its sunny. Theres a nice park down the road and we can carry on talking. Then as im gonna have to keep mum happy for now when I pick Johnny up I had better go home”.  
“ Yes I suppose so. Are you working tomorrow?”  
“ Yes most the day, should be finished about three, Then I usually go home to relieve Mum as Johnny isn’t at Nursery tomorrow. Not that she plays with him”.  
“ Is there anyway you could fool your mum into thinking you have to go back in for a night shift?”  
Vanessa looks at Charity and sees the glint in her eye and smiles.  
“ Oh changed your mind have you “.  
“Not so much changed my mind as I know we will be talking today and I go back on Friday and…..” Charity winks and smirks ar Vanessa.  
“ Needy “.  
“ Oi “  
They are still laughing as they leave the café and start to walk to the park. They walk holding hansa as they need the constant contact with each other. The park is really nice and Charity doesn’t really do nature but even she thinks that this place would be stunning when spring arrives. After awhile they decide to sit again and carry on the conversation they have been having . Not an easy one as they both discuss their communication issues .  
“ You know i find talking hard babe, I think I am improving after all the work I have done with Kelly”.  
“I know that , but if im honest I have always expected that from you but when ever I have had problems I have tended to not share with you. I think the cancer being the worst. I wrongly decided I could cope and you wouldn’t “.  
“ Yeah well babe I wasn’t very good at the beginning and did my usual running for the hills”.  
“ Right well you can stop that Charity, I had weeks to get my head around it and I still hadn’t I don’t think taking a couple of days to work through it was unreasonable and I was asking too much to expect you to. And you tried to do what I wanted and many times I was less than grateful. I really am sorry for that as actually you were brilliant even with me being very moody”  
“Ness for gods sake you were scared and sick do you think I didn’t understand that”.  
“ you were scared too”  
“ Terrified babe. But you are still ok aren’t you ?”  
“ Yes all good and I feel almost back to full strength. If anything this time away has given me chance to be myself again. But I have missed you and the boys so much and Tracy having Maddie.”  
“I am sure she will be so pleased you are coming home, Not sure how she will react the rest of the news”.  
“ Yes I really don’t understand the way she is being. Does she know you have come here.”  
“ No I only told the kids and Rhona. You can ring her and put her out of her misery later. That’s if we are really back together.”  
Vanessa turned and looked at Charity and her heart broke seeing the vulnerable look on her face.  
“ Oh we are most certainly back together and hopefully as time goes on we can make that more official” Vanessa said and this time it was her turn to look a little uncertain. Charity just lifted her fingers and brushed along her jaw and kissed her gently. “ When ever you are ready babe”.  
“ Come on lets walk some more then you can buy me lunch before you go and pick the rug rat up”.  
After a lovely lunch in town its getting close to dropping Vanessa back to her car so Charity asks “ So do you think you could swing a night away without your Mum getting the right idea Ness ?”   
“ I have had to cover a night shift before a couple of times so I think I can.  
Taking care of the overnight residents and emergencies”   
“ If it wont put you in any trouble I would love to spend the night with you if you feel ready.”  
“ Um think you will find Charity I was ready yesterday” Vanessa is smiling and the banter is light hearted. Even though they are both aware how important the topic is to them.  
“ We have talked about so much today and my mind is much easier and I think we both understand the things we need to be aware of and being honest our relationship was pretty bloody fantastic”  
Vanessa goes up on tip toes and kisses Charity “ I think you are right Ms Dingle, And less of the ‘ was ‘ please. Its ‘ is ‘.”  
“ Right you are Miss Woodfield, You are the boss. Always”  
Sadly then Charity and Vanessa head back to their cars and say goodbye with Vanessa promising to phone Charity at bed time to confirm arrangements for the following night.  
“ I love you Charity , see you tomorrow.”  
“ Ditto Kid, Can’t wait, a lovely dinner and you.” Charity winks and leaves.

To be continued……..


	10. Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a sex scene

Chapter 10… This will include a lot smut and sexual content..

Charity sits in the foyer to her hotel looking for Vanessa to walk through the door, She is worried Ness wont show up, That she has changed her mind or her Mum has talked her out of meeting her tonight. She is so tense because this matters so much. Its like her future rides on Vanessa showing up for dinner and the possibility of a night together. They haven’t slept together for more than 18 months and sex, well with Vanessa having cancer and every other thing that got in the way that must be coming on 20 months. Charity is totally on edge so much so that the first she realises that Vanessa is looking at her is when she says “ Hey “ and Charity nearly jumps out of her skin.   
Really cool Charity thinks and smiles and says “ Hey You look stunning Ness”.  
Vanessa looks Charity up and down and with a wicked smile says “ You look good enough to eat “ and winks. Charity almost falls of her seat.  
“ Ok “ She stumbles over her words “ we better go let the restaurant know we are here”.  
Vanessa can see the effect she just had on Charity and that calms her nerves a little, But she is still apprehensive. Its mad she thinks the number of times they have slept together and had sex is far too many to calculate but this feels like the first time and she just hopes they haven’t put too much pressure on themselves. She know that both her and Charity will want this to be perfect.  
They sit down and look at the menus. After both finding something they enjoy Vanessa asks if Charity would like to get a bottle of wine with dinner. “ Not for me babe , but please have some yourself. I just don’t drink, I don’t really have a good relationship with it anymore”.  
“ No im ok and I could do with cutting right down myself, If im honest I have drunk quite a bit in the past months to try and sleep”.  
“ Yeah know what you mean, Its been rough on us all. But entirely my fauly”.  
“ Charity we said no blaming , come on we have talked more in the past couple of days than I think we ever have and I am good with where we are”.  
“ Are you really Ness, I don’t want to push you, I know your Mum and Tracy would quite happily skin me alive for hurting you”.  
“ Yes but that is not my problem and you weren’t the only one making mistakes. It really does take two”.  
“ What did the dragon say when you told her you had a night shirt” Charity said with a smug smirk.  
“ Not much , I told her yesterday you had left to go back to Emmerdale and left it till this morning to mention the night shift to hope she wouldn’t put two and two together”.  
“ Well at least if she does she doesn’t know which hotel im in does she ?”  
“ No I didnt say thankfully. I need to start making arrangements for next week. That will come as a shock to my Mum. At least a pleasant surprise to Johnny that he is finally going home”.   
“ Oh yes little Johnnybobs will be excited, as I hope you will be ?”  
“ God Charity yes I am, It feels like forever since I was there and seeing everyone. I miss all the kids even the big ones “ and smiles pointedly at her across the table, but softens her words by reaching over and taking her hand.  
“ Can I tell you something stupid, Im really nervous this evening , How crazy is that”.  
“ So am I , really mad eh !”  
“ Look Ness we can just snuggle up later, its all good with me, you know I don’t expect anything”.  
“ Charity, Seriously” Vanessa lifts an eyebrow and looks at her beautiful woman. “ with you looking that hot ! “  
Charity actually blushes and Vanessa thinks that’s the cutest thing she has ever seen.  
Dinner goes well and the conversation is fluent and relaxed surprisingly.  
After desert they are a little awkward as they settle the bill and walk to the lift.  
As the lift doors close Vanessa puts her hand gently to Charity’s cheek and closes the distance between them and kisses Charity slowly on the lips.  
In seconds the kiss deepens as if they are both drowning and desperate for each other. The kiss takes their breath away and pulling away reluctantly they look into each others eyes and smile.  
“ God babe I have missed kissing you so much, you really are an amazing kisser”  
“So you tell me , but im sure I can do better” and with that their lips meet again with more urgency. Charity directs them still kissing from the lift along the corridor to the door, her swipe card opens it. Pulling Vanessa in with her , she pushes her against the wall still kissing her deeply and moaning in to her mouth. The sounds coming from Vanessa just drive her on. Its like they did this only yesterday. Slowly she drags her mouth away and Vanessa whimpers at the loss of Charity’s lips, but moans softly as she feels Charity start to nibble and kiss her neck. This is wonderful torture.  
She moves her head down slightly and whispers in Charity’s ear “ I want you so much, I have dreamed this so many times” She feels Charity tremble against her neck and bite just a little harder.  
“ Oh babe, I need to feel you, you are driving me crazy, let me help you out of this dress”  
They part just long enough for Charity to turn Vanessa to face towards the wall and pushes her back against it, Vanessa puts her hands up to the wall and groans loudly. Charity slides the zip of her dress down Vanessa’s back and kisses the skin as she goes enjoying the taste of her skin. She has missed this so much and she is shaking trying to control her need for this woman.  
Charity peels the dress off to leave Vanessa standing in a stunning red matching set that Charity is sure is for her especially as red is her favourite colour on Ness. “Babe are these my treat “ “ Maybe one of them, Vanessa answers in a rasping whisper as Charity continues kissing down her back and slides her fingers under the material of her pants. Slowly she moves her fingers around the waist band until her hand is at the front of her pants and pushes down to Vanessa’s soft hair and feels the heat. Charity cant resist moving her fingers just a little lower and lets out a sigh as she feels just how wet her woman is. Vanessa is barely managing to stand now as her body shakes and she feels Charity’s fingers run up and down from her clit to her centre and back just missing direct contact each time.  
“ God please Charity” “ Please what Ness”  
“Please touch me “ “ I am touching you babe”  
“ Touch me properly” sounding a little more desperate “ Please “  
Charity removes her fingers and turns Vanessa around to face her. Vanessa cries out at the loss of her touch.  
But as soon as she is facing Charity , She finds her lips being kissed in a frantic need for each other that is growing in desperation. Lost in the kiss Vanessa groans deeply into Charity’s mouth as she feels her fingers enter her. The sensation is so wonderful, Vanessa feels her self losing control and as charity runs her thumb over Vanessa’s clit it drives her on to an amazing orgasm.  
As she comes down after Charity fucked her slowly through her orgasm and on to a second. Vanessa ‘s legs shake and Charity has to hold her steady and gently walk her to the bed, She lays her down and kisses all along her neck and starts kissing softly down pulling her bra down to take her hard nipples one by one into her mouth. Vanessa is still gyrating beneath her and making some gorgeous sounds that mean the Charity is so turned on the wetness between her legs is becoming uncomfortable against her trousers. But this is about pleasing the woman she loves totally. As she moves further down she undoes the clasp to Vanessa’s bra and throws in on the floor , and stares at her, She is so beautiful and she has to tell her. And kissing her stomach she looks up at her and finds a look of pure lust on her face it takes her breath away , she loops her fingers in her pants and slowly pulls them away from Vanessa’s soaking centre making sure Vanessa is ok with this. Charity is in awe she drops her head but keeps her eyes on Vanessa’s face and dips her tongue onto her clit and starts running circles around it and over it taking Vanessa higher and higher, Her moans and cries becoming ever more desperate . Stroking the inside of her left thigh Charity reaches up with her other hand and finds Vanessa’s and holds it tightly as she watches her fall apart underneath her. It is the most glorious sight. She cant believe this is really happening and as the emotion of the moment overwhelms them both, tears start to fall.   
“ Oh my god babe, you are absolutely gorgeous and so dammed sexy . I love you so much, I can hardly believe you still want me”.  
“ Charity you are the amazing one , and I love you too . You aren’t to bad in bed either” Vanessa gives her a cheeky wink , just easing the emotion that has built up .   
“ Cheeky bugger , I am terrific in bed, best you’ve ever had , Remember ?”  
“ You aren’t kidding after three wonderful orgasms”  
“ Well babe, Whats my third treat?”  
“ Third treat I thought its your second ?” Vanessa looks puzzled and still a little dazed.  
“ Oh babe watching you cum with my fingers inside you and how beautifully you fall apart for me , that was definitely my second treat….Sooo whats my third”  
Vanessa suddenly rolls Charity over onto her back and straddles her hips and with a sexy glint in her eye starts to kiss Charity………..

To be continued………..


	11. Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sex.

Chapter 11

Vanessa hopes her legs will hold her as she goes to stand up , looking down on Charity still dazed from the very sexy passionate kiss they just shared. She needs to get her out of her clothes. Pulling Charity’s top over her head she places gentle kisses along her shoulder blade and her neck. Moving down her body to her favourite freckles just above her breasts, she reaches round and unclips her bra, pulling it to one side then onto the floor. Charity is sighing and moaning with every touch and kiss. Vanessa knows she is very turned on and takes pity on her finding the clasp at the top of her trousers she pulls the zip down and then pulls her trousers and her pants down together and off onto the floor. Vanessa lays to the side of her sexy gorgeous woman and starts to stroke her clit , moving her fingers in circles around it then straight onto it. Charity’s hips are jumping and Vanessa has to hold them still with her other hand firmly on her hip. Charity’s head is back and her cries are becoming more urgent. “ Ness for gods sake please” “ Please what ?” “ Please Ness fuck me now” With that last plea Vanessa takes no time in moving her fingers straight down to Charity’s core and entering her with some force, Charity yells “ Oh god yes babe, More babe please” Vanessa pushes a third finger to join her others and starts a slow but hard rhythm that she knows drives Charity insane. Fucking her and watching her pleasure has her all hot and bothered again and so she takes her hand from Charity’s hip and places it on her own clit, gently rubbing herself while deep inside her lover. As she feels charity getting close she moves slightly so Charity can see where her other hand is. “ Ness that is so hot” and as she says that her legs begin to shake and Charity falls apart as she cums, Vanessa keeps up the rhythm and carries on fucking her and she herself begins to cum. As charity starts to come down Vanessa keeps the her fingers inside her and continues to slide in and out of her bringing her back up to desperate again and this time she strokes the place inside charity she knows will tip her back over the edge. Charity lays there completely sated and with a wicked smile of contentment. As Vanessa moves slightly she expects her to join her for a kiss and when she feels her body moving down hers she momentarily looks confused until she feels Vanessa’s tongue make contact with her clit and she is lost in all those marvellous sensations. Having a third and amazing orgasm leaves them both splayed out on the bed panting and sweaty. Charity says “ Think I might need a shower babe” “ Mmm that’s a wonderful idea, but maybe a bath instead as im not sure I can stand in a shower if we get carried away” “ Oh Ness I have missed you so bloody much”  
They both smile and share a slow gentle kiss and both know full well the bath might take a while.  
Neither have any idea what the time was when they finally succumbed to sleep but it only feels like minutes before the alarm is going off. Vanessa has to get home and get Johnny to nursery and Charity needs to pack up and be ready before check out time. But it’s a slow awakening as they had slept as they used to wrapped in each other’s arms and kiss each other awake properly .  
Charity breaks the silence “ If we keep doing this Ness neither of us will be getting out of this bed and im sure the chambermaid will get a shock”  
“ Oi you we both need to get moving, but I must say I don’t want to leave you Charity, Last night was wonderful”  
“ It was perfect Ness and I really need this to work as I just cant see my life without you in it “  
“ Me neither love , and we will make it work. Honesty and communication is all we need , we have always made a great team “  
As they get dressed they talk about the logistics of their plan , Vanessa is saying that she needs to be careful not to let her mum get wise to her leaving until she is ready and Johnny in the car and it all packed so she thinks the best day to leave will be next Wednesday as Tuesday eve next week her mum has a bridge tournament and she can get the car pretty much loaded while she is out. Charity is delighted to know she will see her again in under a week.   
Charity has already got a few bits for her new house but really wants Ness with her to choose other stuff and furniture as she really hopes that soon it will be their home. She hasn’t told her yet that the deeds to the house are already in joint names. Even if she hadn’t got her back Charity was determined to share this with all her children if the worst happens.  
They go downstairs fore breakfast and thinks that maybe now is as good as time as any. “ Ness there is a few things I still need to tell you, some can wait till you are back in the village , but when I bought the house I put it in both of our names”. Vanessa looks up surprised and says “ were you that sure you could get me back “  
“ No I wasn’t but even if I didn’t I wanted you and Johnny to have something as you will always be part of me and Johnny will always be my son “  
“ Oh Charity you really do have a way of blowing me away sometimes”  
“ I hope that’s a good thing “  
“ Oh it’s a very good thing. I love you”  
“ Love you too Ness, Always”  
They say goodbye and go their separate ways both looking back and smiling. This is harder than they thought.   
Charity returns to Emmerdale and tells all the children the good news and explains that Ness wont be moving back in straight away but hopefully she will do and she will be back in the village. Of course all Moses cares about is having his brother back to play with. Noah is delighted but of course just says “ yeah right” , like any sullen teenager. Ryan, Sarah and Debbie are really pleased for their mum as they understand just how big this is for Charity.  
When she goes in the Woolpack Chas asks her if her time away has helped and Charity smiles.  
“ Yes Chas it really has. Me and the boys are moving into Tenents Cottage next Tuesday “  
“ What about Sarah, She cant stay at Jacobs fold on her own “  
“ She wont be on her own , Wednesday Vanessa and Johnny are returning and moving in with Sarah till Debbie arrives back.”  
“ Oh Charity , have you seen her , Is that where you have been. Did you talk “   
“ Blimey one question at a time, Yes that’s where I have been , yes we have talked properly and yes we are trying again because we both still feel the same “ With that Chas pulls Charity int a huge hug and for a change Charity doesn’t pull away . Instead she pulls her head back and looks at Chas.  
“ Thank you cus, without you caring and trying to knock some sense into me I wouldn’t have got this far, Thank you will never be enough.”  
“ Charity you have been there for me too and I knew you could do this, we all saw you grow when you had Vanessa’s love. But it was you that changed. Im so very happy for you both, So pleased Ness is coming back we have all missed her. I assume so has Paddy”  
“ We are taking it slow, she isn’t moving straight back in and we are gonna date and see how it goes. But it feels so right Chas”  
Charity heads back to Jacobs fold and starts to sort out Moses’s things for the move and when Noah gets back in he can make a start on his. She finds herself singing along to a tune on the radio and smiling. She never thought she would feel this light and hopeful about the future again but she has taken every step she needed to and so far things are going so well, and beyond what she had hoped for. She cant wait for Ness to be home.

To be continued……….


	12. Chapter

Chapter 12

Vanessa returns to Emmerdale

Wednesday dawns and Vanessa is up a little earlier than normal and in waking up Johnny, “ Be quiet love , we don’t want to wake Nanny yet do we”.  
Johnny isn’t really awake and is quiet as he doesn’t really like Nanny much, she doesn’t really play with him and says mean things to his Mummy. He wishes they didn’t live here , he wants to go home. All his clothes for today are laid out, Thankfully he doesn’t notice his pile of toys in the corner is missing. He trudges downstairs to find Mummy.  
“Mummy where’s my breakfast?”  
“Quiet Johnny, we are having breakfast out this morning as a treat, Come on lets go “.  
With that the slip out of the house and into the car. Vanessa starts the car and pulls away< She doesn’t look back. She knows she wont miss living here and she is sure neither will Johnny.  
“ Look Love I have a surprise for you. We Are going back to live in Emmerdale today. I didn’t want to tell you before because I don’t think Nanny is going to be very happy about it”.  
“ Mummy are we going home to Mummy Charity, Moses, Noah and Sarah?”  
“ Well sort of, we are going back to Jacobs Fold, Only Sarah will be there with us though as Mummy Charity and the boys are moving into Tenants Cottage.”  
“Why aren’t we moving in with Mummy Charity, I miss them Mummy”.  
“ I Know bab, but we will be seeing plenty of them and when Mummy Charity and I are ready we will move in there as Debbie and Jack are moving back soon too”.  
“ Yey, Cant wait to see Mummy Charity and Moses and everyone. I am hungry when is breakfast?”  
“ Soon love.”  
They pull off into a café on route and have a small full English each with Vanessa eating what Johnny cant, and a cup of tea and a juice. They are then ready to go . Johnny is excited and if she is honest with herself Vanessa thinks she is probably more excited. She feels like the nightmare of the past 18 months is coming to an end. She knows she is right to be going home and back to Charity. She knows she will never feel anything close to the way she feels for that woman with anyone else and she believes now that Charity feels the same so they have to make this work. Not just for them but for their blended family too.   
As Vanessa drives she feels her phone ringing in her pocket and she guesses its her mum as Charity knows they are on the way and that Vanessa has turned her hands free off. No way is she telling her Mum with Johnny in the car to hear her Mums thoughts on her decision. She knows the language alone is unlikely to be suitable and what she will call Charity he certainly doesn’t need to know.   
Finally she sees the village up ahead and breaths a sigh of relief. Only Rhona the kids and Chas and of course Paddy know she is on her way back, although Paddy has no idea she is back with Charity. Someone else who will have the need to tell her his opinion. Why anyone thinks they have the right is beyond her. That’s the downside to this village. She does love it here though and finds she has missed it more than she thought as she pulls up out side Traceys .  
Vanessa takes a deep breath and braces herself for her first hurdle. Even though Tracey wont know everything straight away.  
“ V this is a fantastic surprise, We did not know you were coming to stay sis”.  
“ We aren’t here to stay at yours Trace, we are moving back into Jacobs Fold now Charity and the boys have moved out. Johnny is excited to see his brothers again.”  
“Oh how come you didn’t let me know?. Im sure Johnny will see them at some point. But im sure you wont be wanting to run into Charity any time soon.”  
“ Is Nate here ?” “ Yes he is, shall I get him to watch Maddie and we can go get a drink as its still early and Charity isn’t behind the bar till this evening ?”  
“That sounds great Tracey. I miss that place”  
“ Yeah im sure you do V , just not the cheating barmaids eh!”  
“Tracey I really would prefer you don’t talk about Charity that way and certainly not Infront of Johnny”.  
“ Ok V , but it doesn’t change how I feel about all that.”  
“ I had hoped you would have let that go by now, Its really not helpful.”  
“ I don’t really see why I should and I couldn’t care less about her, Are you telling me you do ?”  
“ Look just leave it for now. We will talk later”.  
As they finish the conversation they have arrived at the front door to the Woolpack . Pushing the front door open and striding in Johnny and Vanessa follow Tracey, Vanessa lets out a small breath as she sees Chas behind the bar. She smiles broadly and comes running out to greet them. Sweeping Johnny off his feet as he giggles at her, Then she comes and pulls Vanessa into a big hug.   
“ Oh Vanessa its wonderful to see you , we have all missed you” and gives her a little wink as she pulls back.   
“ I have missed you all so much”.  
With that the door opened and Rhona comes running in straight up to Vanessa and again she is pulled into a big hug.  
“ Ness its so good to see you, Im so excited your home, Hi little man how are you?”  
“ Im ok auntie Rhona , can I play with Leo?”  
“ Yes you carry on, as the two boys find a table and play with their cars, from the front door comes a yell.  
“ Johnny”….. and with that Moses comes charging in and straight to the table where Johnny and Leo are and joins in.  
“ Erm hello Moses “ “ Mummy Ness “screams an excited Moses and jumps up to hug her.  
Tracey is watching all this with a smile on her face, But as the door opens again her face turns to thunder as Charity walks in.  
“ Ness you’re here “ and walks straight to her and takes her in her arms. They kiss for what seems to be ages. Then Vanessa and Charity that they are in the pub and worse still Tracey is glowering at them.   
“ What the hell do you think you are doing Charity ?”  
Vanessa puts her hand on Charity to calm her and pointedly says to Tracy “ Kissing her girlfriend I hope”  
“ V you cant be serious, you are back with that slut?”  
“Tracey that’s enough I told you not to talk about Charity like that, and I meant it. She is no such thing”.  
“ Well im not staying here”. And with that Tracey turned and walked out the pub. “ Well that went well “ Charity says to Vanessa and looked a little sad.  
“ She will come round Charity give her time. I need to speak to her properly.  
She doesn’t know we have seen each other or any of the other stuff . After her reaction last time I was here I haven’t mentioned you, I prefer to do this in person.”  
“ Ok Ness, its your call. I just don’t want her upsetting you.”  
“ Come on you , get me a drink as the boys look perfectly happy where they are”.  
Rhona , Vanessa and Charity sit down near the boys and chat about the latest gossip around the village. Including that Paddy is seemingly happy with Mandy now and Chas seems to be getting her head around it. Rhona thinks she that Chas needs a night out. So the three of them agree to drag her out one night next week.   
As the afternoon is getting later Vanessa thinks its time to get to Jacobs Fold and unpack their stuff and get Johnny settled back in. Vanessa doesn’t start work again till Monday week and she hasn’t thought about nursery or anything like that yet. It was all a bit of a rush.  
She turns to Charity and tells her she needs to get sorted and she asks if she can come round later. Vanessa says she doesn’t think that’s a good idea first night back. Charity’s face falls just for a second then she says that Vanessa is probably right . They kiss again and agree to meet in the morning. Charity is working so she goes home to sort the boys and change.  
Liv has been great with the babysitting while charity works and this evening is no different.   
Vanessa gets settled and puts Johnny to bed after loads of questions about Charity and the boys. But slowly the long day takes it toll and he becomes sleepy.  
Vanessa sits in the lounge that was her home for a year or more, But something important is missing. She reasons with herself that she is an adult she can have an evening here alone, Sarah is off staying at a mates. Why does it feel so wrong.  
Its no good , she cant do this. Vanessa goes upstairs and picks Johnny up wraps him up well in a blanket and carries him out of the front door and down the street. Liv is surprised to see her. But is quite happy to go home and get the rest of the evening to herself.  
Its been a long and boring shift, But Charity doesn’t care because Ness id back and she will see her tomorrow. She walks the short distance home and opens the front door. There is only one lamp on and no sign of Liv, She panics and runs upstairs to find all the boys safely asleep so she goes back down and locks up. She decides she will give Liv a piece of her mind in the morning. Its not that Noah isn’t old enough but even when he is in he’s always on his xbox.  
She goes upstairs again and into the bathroom to take a shower, She feels the hot water cascading over her. There is a small sound but she doesn’t really takes much notice as the boys are asleep. Then the shower cubicle door opens and a gloriously naked Ness slides into the shower and puts her arms around her. “ That’s why Liv wasn’t here, Hey”  
“ Hey sexy, Thought maybe being here tonight might be a good idea after all”  
“ You did , did you”  
“ Mmmm was I right ? “  
“ Oh Ness you are always right, who needs sleep anyway its over rated”  
With that Charity and Ness laugh and only stop when kissing makes better use of their mouths.  
……….To be continued


	13. Chapter

Chapter 13

After a very late night catching up with each other, and if Vanessa is honest they cant get enough of each other right now. After all this time its just magical to be back in Charity’s arms and bed. Charity has been talking about getting furniture for the house and wants Vanessa to help her. And she thinks about it and gets quite excited. This really would be their first home together. She knows that if Charity had her way Vanessa and Johnny would move in now, Vanessa wants to wait although after last night she is not sure why or even if she can. She knows Johnny just wants to be back with his family.  
Charity had laughed when they had finished in the shower last night as when she checked the boys she hadn’t noticed Johnny in Moses’s room. In her defense he was in a sleeping bag on the other side of Moses. So first thing today Charity was going to sort out a bed for him. It warmed her heart to be thinking of having Johnny back and in her life and hopefully soon in her….their house.  
It was Charity’s day off so after dropping the little ones at nursery they make their way to Hotton furniture shopping. It turns out really well and they have very similar ideas on the house except for the amount of yellow that should be around. But to be fair Charity would let Vanessa have her own way with any decision right now. They come back with receipts and order paperwork for lounge furniture and bedroom furniture and a new queen sized bed ( trust Charity ) and somethings that they need in the kitchen. Charity suggests they have lunch at the pub as they haven’t managed to buy any food.  
Sitting there waiting for Marlon to come out with their lunch Vanessa turns to Charity and asks “ Did you get everything you wanted”  
Charity smirks and says “ Not quite Ness”  
“ Charity” but she blushed and felt the warmth flow through her body anyway. God this woman drives her crazy. How could she ever have thought this was over.  
As she is lost in thought smiling to herself and Charity looking at her trying to work out where she has drifted off to, The pub door opens and storms Mrs Woodfield. Seeing her daughter she walks over to their table before they actually notice her.  
“ Mum ! What are you doing here”  
“ I think Vanessa that should be my line, Exactly what are you playing at, you walk out, no word where you have gone and I come here to see if I can find you and you are with her” Mrs Woodfield with disgust on her face as she looks at Charity.  
“ Now Mum I did actually tell you that I still loved her and we had worked things out and we’re going to try again. You just assumed when I didn’t see her after you gave me an ultimatum that that was the end of it”.  
“Well you obviously had a more devious plan, Hers im sure”.  
“ Actually Mum , No its what we all wanted”.  
“ You mean yours and hers”  
“ And Johnny, Noah , Moses and our two older kids Debbie and Ryan. Also our grandkids Sarah and Jack. Most of our friends and Charity’s family. So we have plenty of support.”  
“ I suppose you have straight back in with her, I played right into her hands”  
“ Mum I have not as I told you we wanted to do this right , You just pushed things along, you didn’t change anything”  
“ What about my friends and my contacts I got you that job with. Just like you to not consider how I will look. Not to mention how do I tell them you disappeared in the middle of the night and took my grandson.”  
“ Are you joking, when ever you looked after him he either watched the tv and be quiet or be banished to his room, well the room he was allowed to sleep in. When did you ever talk to him do you have any idea what he likes or thinks about ? “  
“ Well really, I doubt that one has either”  
At that Charity who had been quiet up till then got to her feet.  
“ You must be kidding , for most of the time we have been together and every night when we lived together I read him bed time stories, talk to him for hours about Paw Patrol and his favourite character Rubble, I know what he likes to eat, who he plays with at Nursery and what he is scared of. He is my son remember Mrs Woodfield”.  
“ Mmmmm well that can be undone if Vanessa would see sense. I think its time you got yourself a nice man to settle down with and stopped this nonsense with this common and unworthy barmaid.”  
“ For the last bloody time Mother, I am gay, I have always been gay, the only reason I had so much trouble coming to terms with it and hid how I felt is you.  
I love this bloody barmaid, Who I have told you time and time again owns half of this pub. And now if its any of your buisness owns her own home. Is definitely not common and I wont have you or anyone talk about her or to her in that way “.  
“ Right Mrs Woodfield I think its time you left my pub, Don’t you ?”  
“ Well Vanessa I give up, don’t expect to coming crawling back to me the next time she messes you about. And she will”. She turns and just before leaving   
“ I wont be back, I hope Vanessa you don’t live to regret this “  
And with that Vanessa’s mum left the building. Charity turns to Vanessa and sees her lip trembling and the tears just starting to well in her eyes, She quickly takes her in her arms and holds her tight.  
As luck would have it Tracey walks into the pub at that moment and says.  
“ Was that your Mum V , Oh for gods sake put her down Charity , Have you been upsetting her again already ? “  
“ Tracey don’t start, Its not Charity upsetting me it was my Mother”.  
“ Well makes a change eh !. What did your Mum have to say as if I cant guess. It would be about that one “. She points straight at Charity who finds her patience is getting very thin.  
“ Wind your neck in Tracey, You used to be on our side. You know how much we love each other, You even helped us organise our wedding not that long ago.”  
“ Oh yeah and how did that turn out ? That’s right you stood my sister up at the alter so to speak”.  
“ Right that is enough Tracey im sick of fighting all I want is for us to work out our own issues and find a way back to my family and the woman I love.”  
Charity smiles down at her and pulls her in just a little tighter and says.  
“ Ok that’s it, I think Marlon has been hiding away in the kitchen while the world and his wife has had an opinion on our life and relationship. Tracey Ness will come and see you properly when you have calmed down and if after that you cant hold a civil tongue around her then I cant see how you can be around us as a family. Knowing Ness she will ale=ways be in your life, but our kids don’t need to hear all this any more than we do, Ok ? “  
With that Tracey leaves and the atmosphere clams in the pub.   
“ Babe, Do you still wanna eat or are you over that now ?”  
“ No Charity im fine and pretty hungry as it goes. I think after we need to talk before we pick the boys up”.  
A couple of hours later they are sitting on the sofa at Jacobs Fold and both nursing a cuppa. Charity turns to Vanessa looking at her gorgeous woman and realises she doesn’t know whether to call her fiancé or girlfriend .She knows this doesn’t matter right now but long term where do they go. Vanessa says  
“ What are you thinking about ? you look puzzled”.  
“ Nothing important Babe, What do you wanna do about your Mum Ness.”  
“ There’s nothing to do, I cant help the way she feels as I cant prove that im happy with you , Only time will prove them wrong. And that includes Tracey.”  
“ Well at least you believe in us and more importantly in me babe.”  
“ Charity I know what you have been through and the steps you have taken to change things, I have my part in all this too don’t forget. And I know how much I love you and you love me. With that we can make it work. Because I know now I don’t want my life without you.”  
“ Ditto Ness. Cant imagine what mine and the kids future looks like without you and Johnnybobs. And I really don’t want to feel like that again . Ever.”  
“ No Darling it wont happen, Could you pick up Johnny I think its time for me to go and have a proper talk with Tracey. I don’t want to share anything I shouldn’t , So is there anything you don’t want me to tell her ?”  
“ Babe if it means making Tracey see that we are serious you can tell her I have been getting help, She already knows the rest as she was around for it. If she isn’t aware what I tried to do then maybe leave that part out if you don’t mind. I cant stand the thought of her losing her temper sometime and yelling that out in the pub.”  
“ Of course Charity. Im sure I wont need to go there and its nothing to do with her. I just wanted you imput first. Will I see you later ?”  
“ Try stopping me Babe, I better go get the rug rats.” She leans over and kisses Vanessa firmly on the lips.  
With that she left Vanessa to her thoughts. Right lets get this sorted. She is off the sofa and grabbing her coat as she leaves the house Charity drives past her and waves and blows another kiss.

To be continued…………….


	14. Chapter

Chapter 14

Vanessa knocks on Tracey’s door and waits holding her breath a little.  
Tracey opens the door and half smiles but not really a genuine one.  
“ You better come in V, but I don’t see what you can say that’s gonna make me feel any different about this.”  
“ Its really not about changing your mind Tracey, I want to explain some stuff and then I will leave you to it, Be really good if I could get a cuddle with my Niece too.” Vanessa was hopeful that Tracey would at least listen to her.  
They sat down , Tracey didn’t even offer her a cuppa and hadn’t answered her request for a cuddle with Maddie.  
“ You better say what you came here to say then.”  
“ When I was in Scotland with them all things were really good, I know Charity and I had a few issues getting on the same page with my cancer but by then we were good. After Charity left me at my Mum’s we talked several times a day. The longer I was away from her the more anxious I became and the less I wanted to burden her with my worries when she was taking care of our kids and dealing with the pandemic and the pub. So I started ducking her calls and only speaking to her a couple of times a week or so.” Tracey looks really surprised.  
Vanessa continues “ this became really hard for her and I knew that deep down , I was becoming more and more isolated and I know I was doing that but I just didn’t seem to be able to stop myself. Charity was getting very stressed and you even told me that she wasn’t coping with not speaking to me. I missed her so much. When I should have come home after the hearing and I didn’t it really made Charity reel and believe I wasn’t interested any more.”  
“ I know she kept telling me she thought you had someone else.”  
“ Yes she told me, She ran out and drove for a bit and then sat in the car and cried looking at pictures of us. As she pulled off another car hit her, That was MacKenzie and they had a row, this in turn led to him flirting and she just somehow kissed him. She pulled back and was gutted at what she had done. I know all this to be true Tracey, You know what happened next and the following day you phoned me to tell me that it was in fact an affair as you had over heard Charity trying to get MacKenzie tell me it was just a kiss and he made you believe it was more. Well it wasn’t. Rhona was with Charity when he turned up in the village and they both found out his name and who he was. Rhona told me all this and so did Charity when she wrote to me some months back now. “   
“ Charity wrote to you , didn’t think she knew how.”  
“ Tracey you don’t know everything about Charity, She is much more intelligent than you give her credit for or anyone does for that matter. Don’t get me started on her family. But she has worked really hard at getting herself back on her feet and has never once put the blame for this anywhere but on herself. But Tracey we both know I was not fair to her either, I hate the fact she kissed him , But I have forgiven her and I still love her so much. I just wish you could see what I do.”  
“ I sort of understand your point but she will always screw up and hurt you, she was pretty useless when you told her you had cancer.”  
“ Tracey she was not, she took a little while getting her head around it, so did I . Then I was really hard to take care of as I am unaccustomed to being cared for. All in all she did a great job under stressful circumstances. What I don’t understand is why when you were such a supporter of our relationship have you gone in completely opposite direction now?”  
“Oh V I don’t know what to say, Its more about me. You two have always been so loved up and the chemistry..well we all know about that and I suppose im jealous.”  
“ What !! you have Nate and Maddie , why would you be jealous of us ?”  
“I love Maddie beyond anything you know that. It’s just she wasn’t planned, and I don’t regret her at all, but things aren’t great with Nate and I didn’t really love him. If it hadn’t been for Maddie I don’t think we would still be together. Its nothing like the two of you have.”  
“ Tracey you cant compare relationships, we are all different. But if your not happy with Nate have you tried talking to him ?”  
“He just thinks we are fine V, for me its not really there now.”  
“Love you have had a baby , give it some time and see how it goes, if it doesn’t improve try talking to him again. I love you , youre my sister and I want you on my side and I want to be here for you. I ‘m back now so you can talk to me anytime you like. I’m sure you can sort this out.”  
“ I suppose I ought to come over to Jacobs Fold with you then”.  
“ Why.”  
“ Well I better see the boys and apologies to Charity for my behaviour”.

Vanessa leaves Tracey’s and walks slowly back to Jacobs fold and looks up the road just in time to see Charity’s car coming back into the village with two very excited little boys in it. Vanessa thinks in a couple of months they will be at primary school. Time goes so quickly. Vanessa contemplates that and thinks she has wasted enough time since her all clear. Life is too precious.  
Charity pulls up and smiles at Vanessa,” Hey how was your trip ?” Are the boys ok ?”  
“Everyone one is fine and dandy babe. How did it go with Tracey ? “  
“ Think you lot ought to come in and have a cuppa and I will tell you”  
After getting the boys out of their coats and put drinks and a snack in front of them they finally sit down with a cuppa   
“ I needed that , she didn’t even give me a drink” Charity raises her eye brow and waits for Vanessa to continue.  
“ Well I told her exactly what happened all those months ago and that we had spoken, and how I had played my part, and I think she will be a lot nicer to you now”.  
Charity looks at Vanessa and says “ Really ! how come cause she knew all this before ! “  
“ She seems to be better about it all now”  
“Well have to say im a little amazed that that is all it took. Maybe she just listened this time.”  
“ Yeah maybe she did or maybe she thought it was time now im back, Anyway I hope its sorted. Even if it isn’t I don’t care I have my family back and its all I want and all I need”.  
She looks lovingly over at Charity, who leans over and kisses her, and of course one kiss leads to another. Just to interrupt them there is a knock at the door.  
“ Typical , Im sure they que round the block just waiting for me to put my lips on yours”, She says laughing as Vanessa gets up to answer it.  
Tracey is standing there looking nervous with Maddie in her arms. “Hi can I come in V ?”  
“Of course you silly mare, come in and give me the baby girl”.  
“Hello Gorgeous” says Charity, Tracey smiles and says hi, Charity laughs and says no Her pointing to Maddie. Tracey looks offended but then her face breaks in to a grin.  
“ Im sorry Charity I really haven’t been very fair to you or much help”.  
Charity takes a step towards her and opens her arms to give her a hug, This gets a very startled look from Tracey, but Charity ignores it and pulls her in and says “ nothing to apologise for Kid, I deserved it”.  
“ Well maybe not all of it eh!”.  
“ When is my turn for my first cuddle with the little bundle of joy ?”.  
As Vanessa looks on with a lovely warm loving feeling surging through her she makes a decision.  
A few weeks go by and life falls into a pattern , Vanessa and Charity don’t seem able to spend a night apart and the boys are all happy to have their Mums back together. Vanessa asks Charity when her next night off is. “ Im off on Saturday this week, Why ?”  
“ I think its time we had a night out, How about a meal in Hotten maybe?”  
“ Babe that would be lovely, some kiddy free time”.  
“ Ok I will sort it , you just be ready at 7pm Sat and I will pick you up.”  
Charity smiles broadly and say “ I will look forward to that” and winks.  
Saturday arrives and Charity is working the lunch time shirt, so Vanessa pops into Tenents cottage and nips up to Charity’s bedroom, she grabs some bits and pieces for the following day. She spoke to Cain and Moira when she was at the farm a couple of days ok so they are in on the plan and are having the boys till the following day. The hotel is booked and so is the table in their restaurant.  
She knows that’s Charity loves this place as she bought her here for her birthday a couple of years ago. When she gets home she gets the spare tooth brush and stuff and adds it to Charity’s bag. Then packs her own and gets her outfit ready, and taking special care to put out her latest set of Lingerie she has purchased for the occasion. And finally the small black box., the most important thing of all.As she leaves the house she smiles at all the boxes all around.  
Charity has nervously run around trying a number of outfits on before settling for the one she has on. She knows its one of Vanessa’s favourites, it’s the suit she had on the night of Finn’s funeral and their first kiss. She is wearing it with a new silk black top that shows just enough to wet Ness’s appetite or when they get home. Charity thinks maybe tonight is the night to ask if she is ready yet to move in.  
Vanessa picks her up at exactly 7 , she is impressed Charity is ready and waiting, They kiss when charity slides into the passenger side.  
“ Didn’t fancy any wine tonight babe”. “ No babe im good thanks”.  
They get to the hotel, Charity has been suspicious for a while now as Vanessa did n’t drive to Hotten but into the country side.  
“ This is nice Ness, What happened to a meal in Hotten ? “  
“ I think tonight Charity we need better.”  
“ You wont get any argument from me babe”.  
They arrive and Vanessa tells Charity to ge to the bar while she checks in for our meal and then joins her. Its only about 15 minutes until a waiter comes to show them to their table.  
“ Babe you really have pushed the boat out here. I need to go halves as this cant be cheap.”  
“ Charity you will do no such thing this is my treat, just enjoy it please”.  
“ Oh babe im with you of course I will enjoy it.”  
The meal is beautiful and the conversation is flowing and light-hearted.  
They finish their meal and Charity waits for the bill, Vanessa gets up and starts to leave the restaurant, Charity pulls her arm gently back , “ We cant just leave , you need to pay. Its early yet shall we have a night cap ? “  
“ Lets just have one in our room”.  
Charity gasps and looks at Vanessa, “ Darling did you book us a night away on our own ?”  
“ I certainly did, do you really want a night cap down here ?”  
“ What are we waiting for , Get to our room babe”.  
They get in the lift giggling and half running, as the lift doors close Charity reaches over and takes Vanessa in her arms. They kiss passionately and only come up for breath when the lift opens on their floor. As they enter the room Charity stops when she sees two overnight bags. “When did you do that ?”  
“ I had them get them from the car and bring them up when we went in for dinner.”  
“ You sly mare” as she leans in for another kiss. Vanessa steps away slightly so Charity doesn’t make contact. She looks over slightly puzzled and asks ” what’s the matter ?”  
“ Nothing at all, I just need to do something first”.  
“ Oh yeah , is it dirty Babe ? “  
“ Charity”. “ Just wait there a moment”. Charity perches herself on the edge of the kingsized bed and watches Vanessa rummage in her bag. She cant see what she pulls out, But then Vanessa is walking back over to her.   
As Charity watches Vanessa kneels infront of her and places one hand on her knee “ Babe this is looking up” Charity says cheekily.   
“ Charity “ “ Charity I need to say some things ok ? “  
“ Ok Darling “ Vanessa clears her throat.  
“ Charity Dingle you and I have come so far since that kiss in the cellar, and don’t think I haven’t noticed you are wearing my favourite suit. We have had some downs and I know you would be first to admit it. We have though had far  
More amazing times, even through the bad we have usually come through them together and stronger.”  
Charity is watching her intently wondering where she is going with this, she thinks the evening has been too good for this to be her dumping her, No that’s the old her. Maybe she is ready to move in.  
“ I love you more than I thought possible and you coping with the kids when I was ill and adopting Johnny, I just cant tell you how much that meant to me. All the time we were apart and as angry I was at you then I still loved you and felt like half of me was missing. I ached to be with you. I can’t imagine my life with out you. Charity Dingle will you marry me ?”  
Charity looks down through tears rolling down her cheeks to see Vanessa is holding a ring box open with the most beautiful emerald and diamond ring, she looks up and sees the love pouring out of Vanessa’s eyes along with a few tears of her own.  
“ Of course I will babe, I can’t believe you still want to marry me. So just in case you change your mind get that ring on my finger”.  
They are both laughing and crying at the same time. Charity pulls away slightly and slips her hand into a small pocket in her trousers and pulls out Vanessa’s engagement ring and looks up.  
“ Do you think you might put this back on too babe ? “  
“ Oh god you kept it” “ Of course I did its always with me, Before we got back together I wore it on a chain but then I just carried around with me. I never thought you would want it back”  
The emotions of the past few minutes catching them and soon the are kissing passionately , Charity pulls away just enough to say “ Please babe, move in with me and make my life complete ?”  
“ Cain and Moira are bringing the boys back tomorrow and are helping to move all the boxes I have packed down to our new home”.  
“ You cunning woman, I love you so much”.  
And with that they become lost in each other. Kissing and undressing each other, Charity is the first to gasp when she sees the underwear Vanessa has on . “ Oh Babe my favorite colour red and stunning on you, but better on the floor” as she pulls the bra down before opening the catching and throwing it to the floor . Vanessa is so turned on she is desperately trying to get Charity out of her clothes too , but she does appreciate the sexy set she is wearing too and makes sure the Charity knows it. The need for each other is so intense. Charity starts moving her mouth down to Vanessa’s neck and leaving little bites then kissing away the sting and it driving Vanessa crazy. She continues to bite her gently at first but growing with passion as she reaches her breasts and using her hands as well cupping them and making Vanessa moan loudly .  
She continues down Vanessa’s gorgeous body savoring every part until Vanessa is pleading with her to go where she needs her the most. Taking pity on her Charity moves her hand down between her thighs and slowly cups her hot wet centre as Vanessa cries out with pleasure and need “ Please Charity I need you to fuck me “ With that Charity can’t resist any longer and slides her fingers deep into her. Vanessa wraps her legs around Charity’s back and pushes against her fingers , Charity slides her fingers out and adds a third and pushes them back into her, Vanessa is making some wonderful noises as she starts to shake. Charity is kissing her and saying against her lips, “ Cum for me babe, Be a good girl and let go, I want to watch you fall apart, Cum for me Ness, I love you so much” Vanessa Cums so hard she cant breathe or think or see she just feels her lover all over her holding her and loving her and nothing is more perfect than that.  
When Vanessa can actually move again she half laughs and pulls Charity closer and says “ Do you think sex will be boring when we are married”.  
Charity laughs out loud and looks at her “ Never Babe , Never”.  
They fall asleep much later tired and sated and very much in love.

The End......

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my first ever fan fic.


End file.
